Don Uggler

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Much needed, and probably always will be

You are fighting Don Uggler.

This second baseman tops the list of the ugliest player on the ugliest team in the second ugliest league in prison baseball.

Hit messages:

You start to understand where his name comes from when he hits you with an ugly left hook, and then follows through with a right that's even uggler. Uh, uglier. He hits you for X damage.

The Don calls come of his cronies in to rough you up. Sometimes "Don" isn't just a name, it's a rank. He hits you for X damage.

He stabs you with a marlin spike. You object that there's no fishing in baseball, but he doesn't care. He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:
Your opponent attacks ... Your opponent has a critical hit! it hits for X damage.

Miss messages:
Your opponent attacks ... and misses.

He tries for a double play, but you slide in with your legs up, and he has to leap aside.

You dodge to his right. As a 2B he's only used to diving to his left, and he can't keep up with you.

The 2B is about to attack, but two bees fly by and distract him.

Fumble messages:
Your opponent attacks ... Your foe fumbles! it takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!