Hamlet

From Twilight Heroes Wiki

You are fighting Hamlet.

You encounter Hamlet, the prince of Denmark, talking to the ghost of his father, the former king. "Avenge me, son" says the king. "Who murdered you, father?" asks Hamlet. The ghost is silent, but points one glowing finger directly at you.

Hit messages:

The Danish prince raises his sword to attack. "Wait, stop, don't hit me!" you shout. Hamlet pauses but then says, "Methinks thou dost protest too much," and strikes you with his blade. You get hit for X damage.
He flails ineffectually with his sword for several minutes, until you dodge behind a curtain. Suddenly his aim improves and he strikes true. He hits you for X damage.
Hamlet starts to attack you, then gets caught up in a long moment of indecision. Eventually he assaults you with an outrageous barrage of slings and arrows. He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:
Your opponent attacks ... Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits for X damage.

Miss messages:
Your opponent attacks ... and misses.

Hamlet brings a bunch of actors on stage and sets up an unnecessarily elaborate performance in which he demonstrates exactly how you've wronged him. You're not a king, though, so the play fails to catch your conscience.
Hamlet starts to attack you, but then becomes mired in the morass of indecision and does nothing.
He readies an attack, but then turns aside and delivers a ten-minute soliloquy instead. The speech is so boring it nearly has you contemplating suicide.

Fumble messages:
Your opponent attacks ... Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!
You gain 71-118 chips.
You gain 94 experience.

You got an item: sturdy boots
You got an item: truepenny blade
You got an item: tacky grip