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- Spiral horn
- Spitting Lightning
- Split snorkel
- Spoiler Alert
- Spooked credo
- Spooky pumpkin mask
- Sports utility ZOM-V
- Spotter monocular
- Spring-Heeled Jack's boots
- Spring Pusher
- Springtime fresh puppet
- Sprinkler
- Spurs
- Spy disguise
- Spy dossier
- Spy glasses
- Spy hot air balloon
- Spy ice cream truck
- Spy pen
- Spy sports car
- Spy submarine
- Spy tux
- Spy watch
- Squamous leather
- Squashed digital toad
- Squawking radio
- Squawking radio (companion)
- Squawking radio (sidekick)
- Squid bot
- Squidopus
- Squidopus ink
- Squidopus player
- Squirt gun
- Sri Lankan Staring Frog of Southern Mexico
- St. Anne's Park
- St. Anne Park
- St. Elmo's Chariots of Vanity
- Stabbing stagehand
- Stabilized gyros
- Stable-ity
- Stacked Deck
- Staff of meeting
- Staff of the crusader
- Stage Hook
- Stage hook
- Stage knife
- Stainless Steelbreaker
- Stainless steel straw
- Staked Tundra
- Stale cracker
- Stale space-time taffy
- Stamped boots of stamping
- Standard instructor
- Stanlee steamer
- Star
- Star-crossed lovers
- Star spawn
- Starboard Port
- Starched shirt
- Starfish Regeneration
- Staring frog eye
- Stat gaining
- Static
- Static's spark shield
- Static Villains
- Statistical analysis code
- Stats
- Stay really close to home
- Stealth
- Stealthily sneaking sniper
- Steam-driven periscope
- Steam-driven pulley
- Steam-powered chainsaw
- Steam mask
- Steam piston
- Steam tank
- Steaming hood
- Steamwork core
- Steel claws
- Steel knuckles
- Stevedora
- Stick-on tattoo
- Sticky gloves
- Stiff
- Stiletto Shoes of Stealthy Subtlety
- Stimpack
- Stone Armor
- Stone nose
- Stop Thief! (dict)
- Stop Thief! Brand Outeroos
- Storage
- Stovepipe hat
- Strange fungus
- Stranger in a Strange Landscape
- Stranging device
- Stranglet needle
- Strategist's fan
- Straw and thumbtacks
- Strength
- Strength modifiers
- Strike-back damage
- Strike of the Ion Eel
- String bass
- String bling
- String bowstring
- String necklace
- String of bad code
- String sweater
- Strobe drone
- Strong Sense of Self
- Stroopwafel
- Strut bar
- Student detective
- Studio executive
- Stuffed shirt
- Stun
- Stun Gas
- Stunning
- Sturdy boots
- Sturdy harness
- Styled Wallions
- Stylish leather jacket
- Styrofoam bomb
- Styrofoam lid
- Sub-atom ant
- Sub-ma-car
- Submicroscopic submarine
- Subscriber's Exclusive Store
- Subscriber's Exclusive jacket
- Subscriber's Magazine: The Book
- Subscript alpha
- Subscript beta
- Subscript gamma
- Subscript iota
- Subscript omicron
- Subscription voucher
- Suburbia
- Sucks to be Dinner
- Sugar
- Sugar Purifier
- Sugar substitute
- Sugar water cooler
- Suit software
- Summon Fortune Cookie
- Summon Ion Sprite
- Summon Water Buffalo
- Summon Water Sprite
- Summon Wolf
- Summoning cone
- Sun coast
- Sun dress
- Sundowner Breeze
- Sunglasses
- Sunset's Flaming Sharovary
- Sunset Strip Mine
- Super, Man
- Super-advanced weapon
- Super-cute bunny
- Super-sized mutant
- Super-stable gizmo
- Super Slickery
- Super Ultra Chrono Force helmet
- Super advanced weapon
- Super distressed shirt
- Superagency and You
- Superagent
- Supercomputer Skills
- Superconductor chip
- Supersolid mettle medal
- Superultimate frisbee player
- Superultimate gloves
- Supremely silky spider
- Surfing for Lulz
- Surgical needle
- Surly bowler
- Surly gambler
- Survey the Rooftops of Downtown
- Surveying the Damage
- Susan
- Susan Novak
- Susan Novak's Campus Office
- Suspicious Figure
- Suspicious syringe
- Suspicious trench coat
- Swami Biura
- Swamp moccasins
- Swanky hat
- Swarm of MechaPinatas
- Swarm of scarabs
- Swarming shoes
- Sweat suit
- Sweaty socks (dict)
- Swedish Navy Wrench
- Sweeper's curled rock
- Sweeping leaf
- Sweet Nostalgia
- Sweet derby hat
- Sweet lichen
- Sweet nothings
- Sweet pod
- Sweet snap
- Swimming Pool
- Swimming in Chestnuts
- Swing for the Fences
- Swingline stapler
- Swirled dice cream cake
- Swirled egg
- Switchboard garrote
- Sybil
- Synergy Energy
- Synesthesia's synergistic gloves
- Syphon gun prototype
- Syringe of nanites
- Syrup pump
- T.a.I.L.o.R.
- TAILOR
- TH Editor software
- TNT
- Tabard pajamas of the dragon
- Tabard pajamas of the golem
- Tabard pajamas of the imp
- Tabard pajamas of the serpopard
- Tabard pajamas of the squidopus
- Tabard pajamas of the unicorn
- Tabernacle (dict)
- Tacky grip
- Tainted ankh
- Take Rage downtown to Rand
- Takin' Out the Trash ... Literally
- Tales of the Mag-Wai
- Talisman
- Talisman Summary Table
- Talismaniac
- Talismans
- Talismans (hideout)
- Talismans (manual)
- Talk About an Old Timer
- Talons of the Raptor
- Tame
- Tamed printer
- Tangled Up in Two
- Tanker boots
- Tanzanian cola
- Taped glasses
- Tarantula gargantua
- Targe vert with human rampant
- Targeting Trouble
- Taser
- TaserMax
- Taser drone
- Tattered shorts
- Taut sinew
- Tavern
- Tcho-tcho
- Teardrop gem
- Teardrop necklace
- Tectonic plate
- Teddy bear
- Teds and hails coin
- Teeny-tiny motorcycle
- Teeter Street
- Telekinesis
- Telekinetic katana
- Telescoping telescope
- Televisiontail
- Tempest's Brooch
- Temporal Jitters
- Temporal brain cylinder
- Temporal singularity
- Tequila (dict)
- Terce
- Terce's memo
- Test
- Texas Dog Party
- That's my car
- That Man's Father Is My Father's Son
- That Old Trope Again?
- TheK3vin's Kh4k1s
- The 'Swift and ...' trilogy
- The 3-erang
- The Ancient Crypts
- The Arachnid Prince
- The Arena Armory
- The Arsonist
- The Atmos Spear (dict)
- The Atomizer
- The Badge of the Wicked
- The Bard's Play
- The Baroness
- The Baroness's stiletto boots
- The Bayside Dive Shop
- The Beatless
- The Bee's Knees
- The Best Offense
- The Best Training Schoolyards Can Provide
- The Birth of a Hero
- The Bit Player 1
- The Bit Player 2
- The Bit Player 3
- The Bit Player 4
- The Bit Player 5
- The Bit Player 6
- The Bit Player 7
- The Bitmap is the Terrain
- The Bitmat is the Terrain
- The Black
- The Brewmeister
- The Bully Mammoth
- The Charlie Castanet Enlightenment Center
- The City of Twilight
- The Count's watch
- The Depths of Space
- The Dingo
- The Dingo's Lotus
- The Docks
- The Elsie C. Attus and Lilly C. Anine Memorial Hospital Emergency Room
- The Farthest Reaches of Insanity
- The Fire Within
- The Gadget
- The Galleria shops
- The Girl Two Doors Down
- The Golbergium Door
- The Goldbergium Door
- The Grouch's Sack of Loot (empty)
- The Grouch's Sack of Loot (full)
- The Guild for Imaginative Metachronism
- The Hemisesquicentennial Man
- The Human Campfire
- The Human Gnat
- The Iceberg Five
- The International House of Nothing
- The Last Nostronomian
- The Last Nostronomian Store
- The Lieforce
- The Mad Bomber Wot Bombs at Somethingorother
- The Malappropriator
- The Map
- The Map (manual)
- The Matrix Recoded
- The Mementonian Memuseum
- The Mick
- The Mick's Thunderbolt
- The Mick's gorilla vest
- The Mick's sketchy candy
- The Mink Seat of Justice