Surly bowler

surly bowler

You are fighting a surly bowler.

She may not look like much, but she's been bowling--and drinking--since before you were born. League night is over, and this old lady is up to no good on her way home. You don't wanna hurt her, but if you don't stop her, the rampage might not end until the sun comes up.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

She pins you in a gutter and pummels you. It's pretty foul.
She feints with her left. You dodge, and she hits you with her right. Apparently she's got a nasty hook.
She knocks you completely over with her ball. That's going to leave a mark.

She hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! She hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

She frames up to hit you, but at the last second decides to spare you.
She rolls the ball at you, but she throws granny-style, so it's not going fast enough to hurt.
She tries to bowl you over, but you dodge down the alley. With her bowling shoes on she can't keep up.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! She takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 6-9 chips.

You gain 7 experience.

You got an item: SQUID disc: Forgotten Etiquette (72.7 ± 15.5%)
You got an item: high pressure bottle (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: bunny slippers (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: bowl of greens (Unspecified Drop rate)