Blotto sotto capo

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Blotto sotto capo

You are fighting a Blotto sotto capo.

This drunken underboss reminds you of a classic joke. "What are you drinking under there?" "Under where?" "You're drinking underwear? Eeeeeewwww!" The underboss doesn't seem to find the joke amusing.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

• He gives you a turban. It sounds like a nice gift, but it isn't, and when he's done you wish you had some cloth to wrap around your aching head.
• He pinches your piece and whacks you with it. Thankfully it's not the mafia "whack." So it's still painful, but not deadly.

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

• He goes oobatz, orders a gabagool sandwich, and tells you to fanabala. Whatever all that means.
• He clocks you with a pair of binoculars. You'd think that's bad, but it's more creepy than painful.
• He tries to ice you, but you tell him he's fired. Somehow it all balances out.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 62-76 chips.

You gain 47 experience.

You got an item: capo cap-o (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: capo key (Unspecified Drop rate)

Known resistances/weaknesses

Unspecified

Locations

• Back of the House
  

Notes

• The capo key is a one time drop.

References

• "Blotto" is a a colloquial term meaning "extremely drunk". A sotto capo is the Underboss, or second in command, in an Italian Mafia family.
• "Oobatz" means "crazy, nuts". "gabagool" is a cold cut meat similar to baloney. "fanabala" means "go to hell". "Giving someone a turban" means cracking his head open. All are mafia speak.