General X

General <name>

You are fighting General <name>.

This is a general from the Unborn Army. He looks just like all the other Unborn, except he's got more stars on his uniform.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

• The general introduces you to his lieutenant and his ralphtenant, also known as his left and right fists.
• The general pummels you until you see stars. Five stars, to be precise.
• The general prods you in very specific (and painful) locations.

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

• The general tries to lance you in the sergeant, but lance sergeant isn't a valid rank.
• The general fires at you, but his mechanized weapon suffers a colonel panic and shuts off.
• The general has a major malfunction and misses you.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain ?-84-125-? chips.

You gain 90 experience.

You got an item: SQUID disc: How to Win ... (19.7 ± 2.7%)

Known resistances/weaknesses

50% resistant to psychic damage.
50% weak to sonic damage.

Locations

• inner sanctum of the Unborn Base
  

Notes

• <name> can be Chaos, Hospital, Ayze, Elektrik, Mayhem, Mowters, Anna S. Thetic, Protection Fault, or Ist.
• You can encounter the same General more than once.
• Repeating the encounter (using a Bungee lasso, Deja voodoo doll, or Ectoplasmic chains) may result in fighting a General with a different name.

References

• The image is that of General John Abizaid.
• All the General names are puns on other expressions using the word "general".
• Specifically General Motors and General Electric are companies.
• Also referenced are general anesthetic (drug that induces anesthesia), General Protection Fault (a CPU error), General Hospital (an American soap opera), generalize (to give a general form), and generalist (one with varied skills).
• The hit and miss messages are jokes on military ranks.
  • The first hit message refers to the lieutenant rank.
  • The second hit message refers to 5 star ranks.
  • The third hit message is a general reference to the general rank, as opposed to "specific".
  • The first miss message probably refers to the common rank Lance Corporal, although Lance-Sergeant is actually a valid rank in some armies.
  • The second miss message refers to the colonel rank.
  • The third message refers to the major rank.
• The second miss message refers to Kernel panic.