Star-crossed lovers

star-crossed lovers

You are fighting star-crossed lovers.

These star-crossed lovers desire each other so badly they don't care if they ruin the lives of everyone else around them in the pursuit of ill-fated love. Teenagers can be so selfish sometimes.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

• The two gaze deeply into each other's eyes. Then they start making out frantically. Your stomach churns, and you feel sick.
• The teen male sticks you with his rose. Did I say rose? I meant sword. Though that which we call a sword by any other name would hurt as much.
• Parting is such sweet sorrow. Especially when it's you being parted from some of your blood. But that's exactly what the teens take away from you.

It hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! It hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

• Instead of attacking you, they just take turns playing "loves me, loves me not" with some flower petals. Strangely, it ends on "loves me" every time.
• The lovers gaze deeply into each other's eyes. Apparently they've forgotten that you even exist.
• One of the lovers accidentally eats some poison and collapses, and the other sticks a knife in his gut out of grief. But it turns out the poison was a sleeping pill and the knife had a retractable blade. Both of the lovers get up and laugh, but neither gets around to attacking you.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! It takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 73-122 chips.

You gain 97 experience.

You got an item: bodice (10.3 ± 0.8%)
You got an item: sleeping draught (5%)
You got an item: lover's locket, right half (8%)
You got an item: peanut butter couplet (19.4 ± 2.9%)

Known resistances/weaknesses

50% resistant to sonic damage.
50% weak to ice damage.

Locations

• Cube Theater
  

References

Romeo and Juliet, from William Shakespeare's tragedy of the same name, are the most famous star-crossed lovers.