Talk:Frank's Ballpark

just getting a jump on it --Reaper 20:59, 20 October 2008 (MST)

On the main page:
Oh no! A team of prison-yard baseballers, The Boston Stranglers, has broken out of jail and taken over Frank's Ballpark near St. Anne Park in Downtown Twilight. They're holding the entire facility hostage in an attempt to derail the World Series. Can you help stop them?

Inning 1, 0 outs

Karlos Voltron
You are fighting Karlos Voltron.
This center fielder is actually assembled from a collection of five smaller center fielders. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but somehow it works.

hit and misses

Your opponent attacks ... He jolts you with what feels like a million volts using his special electrified bat. He hits you for 29 damage.
Drops: catcher's mask, scalpel energy drink

Inning 1, 1 out
Schnozzie Smith
You are fighting Schnozzie Smith.
This shortstop is known as the wizard of Schnoz. His nose is acrobatic, but his glove is sick. He turns goo. He can pick it with the best of them.

hit and misses

Your opponent attacks ... He stops you short with a punch to the gut. He hits you for 33 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... You try to dodge out of his way, but the umpire calls you out for leaving the basepaths, and gives Schnozzie a free hit. He hits you for 21 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... He nearly hits you, but he stops short.
Your opponent attacks ... He has to stop to have a major sneezing fit. With a schnoz like that, it knocks him over.
Drops umpire's glasses, baseball

Inning 1, 2 outs
You are fighting Albert Cujos.
Named after a prince and a rabid dog, this thug of a first baseman with the mug of a brute is nearly foaming at the mouth to put you out.

hits and misses

Your opponent attacks ... Hobbled by some unpronounceable foot injury, he can't catch up to you when you run away. Guess that's why this guy normall just stands there at first base.
Your opponent attacks ... For some reason you're forced to run to where he's standing, even though Albert's waiting for you with a baseball. He hits you when you get there. He hits you for 17 damage.
Drops umpire's glasses and baseball

Inning 2, 0 outs
Don Uggler
You are fighting Don Uggler.
This second baseman tops the list of the ugliest player on the ugliest team in the second ugliest league in prison baseball.

hits and misses

Your opponent attacks ... You start to understand where his name comes from when he hits you with an ugly left hook, and then follows through with a right that's even uggler. Uh, uglier. He hits you for 36 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... He tries for a double play, but you slide in with your legs up, and he has to leap aside.
Your opponent attacks ... The Don calls come of his cronies in to rough you up. Sometimes "Don" isn't just a name, it's a rank. He hits you for 30 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... He stabs you with a marlin spike. You object that there's no fishing in baseball, but he doesn't care. He hits you for 32 damage.
Drops cleats and baseball

Inning 2, 1 out

Abe Costello
You are fighting Abe Costello.
I Don't Know about this third baseman. There's something kind of fishy about him.

hits and misses

Your opponent attacks ... You try to talk your way out of the fight, but the 3B says, "I Don't Give a Darn," and the shortstop hits you from behind. He hits you for 23 damage.
Drops catcher's mask, smart juice, smart bandages, leather gloves

Inning 2, 2 outs

Adam Done
You are fighting Adam Done.
This left fielder is named appropriately. He's got horrible aim, but if he hits you, you're done.

hits and misses

Your opponent attacks ... He should be attacking, but his mind--like the rest of him--is out in left field.
Your opponent attacks ... He plays home run derby with your kidneys. He hits you for 22 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... He plays home run derby with your kneecaps. He hits you for 26 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... He swings and misses, three times in a row. Power hitters strike out a lot, you know.
Your opponent attacks ... You chant "Hey, batter batter, swing batter!" and throw his timing off.


Inning 3, 0 outs

Dan Swattingly
You are fighting Dan Swattingly.
His natural position is first base, but after the team drafted Cujos, Swattingly got sent to the outfield, where he plots his revenge and catches the occasional fly ball.

hits and misses

Your opponent attacks ... Also known as "The Hit Man," Swattingly lands a hit on you. He hits you for 39 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... Swattingly swats you real good. He hits you for 23 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... Swattingly swats you like a fly. He hits you for 20 damage.

Inning 3, 1 out

Swami Biura
You are fighting Swami Biura.
The team catcher comes from India. He's known for saying things that really make you think, hence the nickname Swami.

hits and misses

Your opponent attacks ... He hits you. It hurts. You wish you had that insurance to pay for the damages. He hits you for 40 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... Working on the philosophy that you can observe a lot by just watching, Swami sits back and just watches.
Your opponent attacks ... You try for a suicide squeeze, but he's on to you and your maneuver is just plain suicide. He hits you for 23 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... He hits you. He hits you again, in an identical fashion, giving you a sense of deja vu. He hits you a third time, and it's like deja vu all over again. He hits you for 33 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... In a complete surprise move to everybody, some girl named Jennifer Keaton pushes Swami out of the way and announces she wants to discuss Huckleberry Finn instead. You don't even remember an H. Finn on the roster.
Your opponent attacks ... He swings at you and misses. Apparently he was trying to think and hit at the same time.
Drops smart juice and umpire's glasses

Inning 3, 2 outs

The Northpaw
You are fighting The Northpaw.
Nicknamed the Northpaw because he's a tenacious righty, this guy is also sometimes called The Unit. As in "of currency." As in, "You can take him to the bank." As in, to be your getaway driver.

hits and misses

Your opponent attacks ... The Northpaw throws a pitch by you so fast you don't even see it, but the sonic boom knocks you flat. He hits you for 26 (sonic) damage.
Your opponent attacks ... He twitches at you and stops. The umpire calls a balk and lets you walk on by.
Your opponent attacks ... He pounds you with 3 straight heaters. You get 100 mph sweats. He hits you for 34 (fire) damage.
Your opponent attacks ... He throws four balls at you, all of which miss way wide. He stops to give you a free pass.
Your opponent attacks ... He tries to throw a pitch that's half slider, half curve, also known as a slurve. It comes out half slider, half knuckleball, which isn't anything.
Your opponent attacks ... He freezes you with a filthy curveball. You shiver down your spine. He hits you for 28 (ice) damage.
Your opponent attacks ... He has a critical hit


Inning 4, 0 outs

Karlos Voltron
You are fighting Karlos Voltron.
This center fielder is actually assembled from a collection of five smaller center fielders. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but somehow it works.

hits and misses

Your opponent attacks ... He spends all of his time singing about how he can be centerfield. You don't bother pointing out that he is center field.
Your opponent attacks ... He brags about being a member of the 30-30 club, but you best him with your 20/20 foresight.
Your opponent attacks ... He jolts you with what feels like a million volts using his special electrified bat. He hits you for 44 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... Voltron's right arm detaches from the rest of the collective, and he has to coax the player back onto the team.
Your opponent attacks ... Your foe fumbles! He takes 23 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... Voltron disassembles into his component parts, all of whom kick you with tiny (but very pointy) cleats. He hits you for 41 (electric) damage.
Drops: umpire's glasses and Scalpel energy drink


Inning 4, 1 out

Schnozzie Smith
You are fighting Schnozzie Smith.
This shortstop is known as the wizard of Schnoz. His nose is acrobatic, but his glove is sick. He turns goo. He can pick it with the best of them.

hits and misses

Your opponent attacks ... He's got you trapped in a rundown, but slips on the grass. You barely slip by him.
Your opponent attacks ... He wipes his glove on you. You feel ill. He hits you for 34 (psychic) damage.
Your opponent attacks ... He stops you short with a punch to the gut. He hits you for 30 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... He has to stop to have a major sneezing fit. With a schnoz like that, it knocks him over.
Your opponent attacks ... You try to dodge out of his way, but the umpire calls you out for leaving the basepaths, and gives Schnozzie a free hit. He hits you for 26 damage.


Inning 4, 2 outs

Albert Cujos
You are fighting Albert Cujos.
Named after a prince and a rabid dog, this thug of a first baseman with the mug of a brute is nearly foaming at the mouth to put you out.

hits and misses

Your opponent attacks ... He's about to pummel you mercilessly, but an umpire declares you safe. He argues with the umpire but stops short of getting himself ejected, unfortunately.
Your opponent attacks ... For some reason you're forced to run to where he's standing, even though Albert's waiting for you with a baseball. He hits you when you get there. He hits you for 39 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... Hobbled by some unpronounceable foot injury, he can't catch up to you when you run away. Guess that's why this guy normall just stands there at first base. Your opponent attacks ... He grips his bat and shouts "By the power of baseball I have power!" which doesn't really make much sense. Then he knocks you senseless with a swing. He hits you for 40 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... He grips his bat and shouts "By the power of baseball I have power!" You ship him off to the Department of Redundancy Department for some learning and education.
Your opponent attacks ... Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits for 62 damage. He cleans your clock with that hit.
Your opponent attacks ... Your foe fumbles! He takes 29 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... He hammers you straight into the ground with his bat. You have to dig yourself back out. He hits you for 32 damage.
Drops baseball bat and umpire's glasses


Inning 5, 0 outs

Don Uggler
You are fighting Don Uggler.
This second baseman tops the list of the ugliest player on the ugliest team in the second ugliest league in prison baseball.

hits and misses

Your opponent attacks ... Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits for 48 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... He stabs you with a marlin spike. You object that there's no fishing in baseball, but he doesn't care. He hits you for 31 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... You dodge to his right. As a 2B he's only used to diving to his left, and he can't keep up with you.
Your opponent attacks ... The 2B is about to attack, but two bees fly by and distract him.
Your opponent attacks ... The Don calls come of his cronies in to rough you up. Sometimes "Don" isn't just a name, it's a rank. He hits you for 31 damage.
Drops baseball and leather gloves


Inning 5, 1 out

Abe Costello
You are fighting Abe Costello.
I Don't Know about this third baseman. There's something kind of fishy about him.

hits and misses

Your opponent attacks ... Costello throws a ball to the second baseman, who throws it out to left field. You can't figure out What they're doing, or Why, but it's okay by you.
Your opponent attacks ... Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits for 57 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... You try to talk your way out of the fight, but the 3B says, "I Don't Give a Darn," and the shortstop hits you from behind. He hits you for 41 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... Abe calls for the catcher, but he's too slow to get here Today. Your opponent attacks ... Your foe fumbles! He takes 37 damage.
Your opponent attacks ... Naturally, the right fielder, who shouldn't be anywhere near third base, happens to be over here this time to assist with a beatdown. He hits you for 30 damage.
Drops baseball bat