Anatolian mule

Anatolian mule

You are fighting an Anatolian mule.

A master of disguise, the dreaded Anatolian mule approaches like a cute, innocent donkey, but then once it's past your defenses it turns and delivers a kick like a jackass. This one is well inside your danger zone.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

• It pretends to take a catnap, then pounces like a puma. You are viciously flattened.
• The mule plays as dumb as a chimp until your turn your back, then attacks like a crafty monkey. Mule. Mule-monkey. Whatever.
• The mule makes a lot of noise until you become complacent, and then runs up and nips you. Its bite is much worse than its bark.

It hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! It hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

• It stalks you like a tiger, but gets locked into a loop where it wiggles its tail but can't ever bring itself to pounce.
• The mule does an orangutan impression, and you gladly leave it to its monkey business.
• The mule puts up a lot of bark, but its tree impression doesn't give it room to attack you.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! It takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain <Scaling> experience.

Known resistances/weaknesses

Unspecified

Locations

• There's a Blog.Org for This
  

Notes

• Occurs when you choose "bug", "debug", "virus", "trojan", or "worm" on There's a Blog.Org for This.

References

• Refers to the computer variety Trojan horse, though the image is of the Greek myth Trojan Horse.