Star-crossed lovers

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star-crossed lovers

You are fighting star-crossed lovers.

These star-crossed lovers desire each other so badly they don't care if they ruin the lives of everyone else around them in the pursuit of ill-fated love. Teenagers can be so selfish sometimes.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

The two gaze deeply into each other's eyes. Then they start making out frantically. Your stomach churns, and you feel sick.
The teen male sticks you with his rose. Did I say rose? I meant sword. Though that which we call a sword by any other name would hurt as much.
Parting is such sweet sorrow. Especially when it's you being parted from some of your blood. But that's exactly what the teens take away from you.

It hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! It hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

Instead of attacking you, they just take turns playing "loves me, loves me not" with some flower petals. Strangely, it ends on "loves me" every time.
The lovers gaze deeply into each other's eyes. Apparently they've forgotten that you even exist.
One of the lovers accidentally eats some poison and collapses, and the other sticks a knife in his gut out of grief. But it turns out the poison was a sleeping pill and the knife had a retractable blade. Both of the lovers get up and laugh, but neither gets around to attacking you.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! It takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 73-122 chips.

You gain 97 experience.

You got an item: bodice (10.3 ± 0.8%)
You got an item: sleeping draught (5%)
You got an item: lover's locket, right half (8%)
You got an item: peanut butter couplet (19.4 ± 2.9%)