The Only Thing Worse than a Love Triangle is a Hate Triangle

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Return to Fighting Robots

Aquasson.jpg

"What? I'm sorry, but this belongs to the humans. I mean us," you say. "And what's that about being guilty?"

The round bot continues, "You are all guilty of possessing what we want. This water is now ours. Ford-bots and Paddlebots, I command you to relinquish the water at once. Innocent! Obey me!"

Prime and OmegaTron draw their weapons, alternating between pointing the guns at Pentacron and each other.

OmegaTron says, "Is this some kind of Paddlebot trick, Prime? Did you do this?" while Alpha Prime asks the round robot, "What right do you have to command us?"

Pentacron says, "The Aquassons created both the Paddlebots and the Wade-bots, we are your masters. Innocent! We are the dark terrors in the water that make the Paddlebots row on the surface, we are the menace that drove the Fordicons to the shores where they wade. We are the masters of the murk, the dukes of the depths, the shadowy lords of the shallows. We are the things that go splash in the night. Inno-inno-guilty! You will obey, or you will die!"

You try to be a voice of reason, but you can feel the truce slipping away. "Look, why don't we all talk about this for a bit. I'm sure we can make a three-way arrangement and-"

A scream from OmegaTron cuts you off. "Never! Don't be a fool! There's no negotiating with them. Ford-bots, retreeeeeeeeeeat and regroup!" He launches himself into the air and turns into some sort of flying bridge.

You turn to Alpha Prime, pleading for him to be reasonable, but he shakes his head. "I'm sorry, but that's not how I row. Paddlebots! Transmute and row out!" He turns back into a cruise liner and splashes across the pond at top speed, where his allies gather to his side. Not surprisingly Pentacron also shouts for his minions to come to his location, and a third group of robots forms. Within a matter of minutes all three groups are building fortifications, and small spying and raiding parties are zipping back and forth between each group. Fairly soon a three-fronted battle has begun, with Aquassons fighting Paddlebots, Paddlebots fighting Ford-bots, and Ford-bots fighting Aquassons.

You try to imagine how this could possibly have gone any worse, but nothing comes to mind.