Talk:Turkey feather wand

It seems to grant some exclusive Openings:

Hilarious Voiceover shakes your opponents' mind and confidence. (when foe fumbles)

Swish and Flick to summon the concentrated awfulness of a thousand terrible movies. (spell critical)

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• You channel the power of a thousand terrible movies for good... or at least good practice for making fun of <foe>. Your practiced jibes deal X damage and shake his confidence. (-X Defense, -X Offense)

• You extend the turkey feather wand, summoning the concentrated awfulness of a thousand terrible movies.

followed by:

It takes the form of a man in a gorilla suit and a space helmet. He bludgeons the <foe> for X damage.

or

It burns the <foe>, causing X damage of toxic troma... err, trauma.

or

It takes the form of a prequel to Array's favorite movie, scarring it for X damage.

or

It takes the form of a electric tingler, like a joy buzzer, but gimmicky enough to deal X damage.

or

Their terrible magic summons every frozen turkey in Hoboken. They bury the <foe> for X damage.

or

It takes the form of tiny flaming UFOs that look supiciously like paper plates. They crash into the <foe> for X damage.

or

It gets louder and louder, attempting to compensate for its awfulness through volume, but only succeeds in doing X damage.

Patojonas 06:25, 1 November 2013 (PDT)