Bedivere the Not-so-brave

Bedivere the Not-so-brave

You are fighting a Bedivere the Not-so-brave.

On your first pass or if you haven't dealt any damage yet:
As you pass through a small crowd near a rope barrier, they hush for a moment, then begin chanting "Bedivere the Not-so-brave! Bedivere the Not-so-brave!"

An armored knight rides out from the crowd, apparently every bit as warped as his fans. If only you knew who he is...

You are fighting Bedivere the Not-so-brave.

On future passes:
Bedivere the Not-so-brave comes around for another pass, charging you with his lance held high.

or

Bedivere the Not-so-brave comes around for another pass, charging you with grim determination.

or

Bedivere the Not-so-brave comes around for another pass, charging you on his steed. The gathered crowd (I mentioned the crowd, right?) mutters about how it looks like he's getting worn out.

or

Bedivere the Not-so-brave comes around for another pass, clutching his steed desperately as he charges you.

or

Bedivere the Not-so-brave comes around for another pass, charging you while barely holding on to his own steed.

Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

• Living up to his name, he charges in the opposite direction. His horse kicks up a lot of dust right into your face.
• He explains to you how to prevent earthquakes by using sheep's bladders. Ow. Your head. (psychic) damage
• He flings a magic sword back into a handy lake. Through you. Ouch.

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

• Living up to his name, he charges away from you. These are the jokes, people.
• He explains how the earth is banana shaped. You've dealt with too many cranks to be terribly fussed about it.
• He flings a magic sword back into a handy lake. Better safe than sorry, after all.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 80 experience.

You got an item: Bedivere's vambraces (Guaranteed Drop)

If you fail to unhorse him:
Apparently tired of running back and forth, the knight's mount carries him off into the distance. Well, we'll call that one a victory, at least until he can get turned around for another run at the lists.

If you succeed in unhorsing him:
The knight slips from his horse and falls to the ground. The crowd rushes in, chanting your name as he's carried off to the first aid tent... they have a first aid tent?

Amid the festivities, you notice a pair of gloves in the mud. Huh. He seems to have gotten it backwards. It's supposed to be throw down your gauntlet then have a joust.

On the bright side, they fit perfectly.

Known resistances/weaknesses

Verified to have no resistances or weaknesses.

Locations

• Guild for Imaginative Metachronism
  

Notes

• Fighting to a draw still earns you 80 experience.
• The initial messages are an indicator of the foe's health, which is carried from one fight to the next.