Malfunctioning ZOM-L

malfunctioning ZOM-L

You are fighting a malfunctioning ZOM-L.

When this ZOM-L came off the assembly line, or wherever these ZOM things come from, it doesn't look like they finished the job properly. Not only does he think he's a hero, he's also really bad at it.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

• The ZOM-L tries to rescue you from this dangerous factory, but its egress takes you through the scary-cutty-stompy machine that all factories seem to have.
• The cyborg grabs a weapon off the assembly line and turns it over to you. That's really ni... wait, that thing is still armed! damage + (fire) damage
• The cyborg tries to rescue a cat from a tree, but there aren't any trees here, so he just ends up standing on your face.

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

• The ZOM-L tries to rescue you from this dangerous factory, but you have a mission.
• The cyborg grabs a weapon off the assembly line and tries to hand it to you, but you know better than to accept cannons from strangers.
• The cyborg tries to rescue a cat from a tree, but there aren't any trees here, so he just ends up climbing a support pillar.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 150 experience.

You got an item: gigantic bicycle horn (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: leg on a hinge (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: reinforced novelty scissors (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: red cryptonase (Unspecified Drop rate)

Known resistances/weaknesses

50% resistant to physical damage.
50% weak to acid damage.

Locations

• Hidden Factory
  

Notes

• At the end of each round of combat,

Massive pistons smash down on you (because factory, duh) but you fight against it with your rippling muscles until it withdraws back towards the ceiling.

or

Massive pistons smash down on you (because factory, duh) and crush you for X damage.