A.P.C.

A.P.C.

You are fighting an A.P.C..

This is an A.P.C. That probably stands for armored personnel carrier, but I suppose it could also be Any Prized Chocolate or Anti-Perambulatory Contraption. You never know with the army.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

• The APC releases its amassed power capacitance. You try to point out that power isn't what's stored in a capacitor at all, but it's hard to hold a coherent conversation with a military vehicle while you're being electrified. (electric) damage
• The APC opens up with its anti-personnel cannon.
• The APC demonstrates that all pistons crush.

It hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! It hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

• The APC discharges quite a bit of capacitance, but you turn it aside with nothing but your amazing personal charm and a lightning rod.
• The APC opens up with its canon, but you can't imagine the protagonist ending up with any particular character.
• The APC tries to crush you with its pistons, but you duck inside Al's personal cabinet. The cabinet doesn't make it, but you're okay.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! It takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 72 experience.

You got an item: titanium plating (12 ± 2.4%)
You got an item: transformer (25.7 ± 3.2%)

Known resistances/weaknesses

Verified to have no resistances or weaknesses.

Locations

• Military base of the Unborn
  

References

• This enemy and its description pokes fun at TLA's and the fact that most modern military slang revolves around abbreviations which are not generally understood by civilians.