Aquatic landshark bot

aquatic landshark bot

You are fighting aquatic landshark bot.

These are land sharks that reverse-evolved to return to the ocean. They had to give up the candygram routine millennia ago. Who's heard of water-based candy? (Other than saltwater taffy--does anybody actually like that stuff?)
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

This bot has apparently learned a few tricks from his loanshark relatives, and gouges you mercilessly.
The shark bites you. Even worse, the remora bots attached to its underside momentarily disconnect to also take a bite of your tenderized hide.
The shark chomps down on your arm. Yeah, you could say that really bites.

It hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! It hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

The shark tries to smack you with the lower part of his tail fin, but you high-tail it out of there.
It bites you, but the last row of teeth just fell out and the next row hasn't lifted into place yet, so it's not so bad.
The shark charges you, but you hide behind a coral reef.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! It takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain (scales by stats) experience.

You got an item: enerbun globule (50 ± 1.1%)
You got an item: plasteel plating (4.6 ± 0.4%)
You got an item: cybertronium (4.9 ± 0.5%)
You got an item: mona lisa drivetrain (5.3 ± 0.5%)