Armored warrior

armored warrior

You are fighting an armored warrior.

You face a woman dressed in strange metal armor, apparently made from an alloy or alloys that you don't recognize. The look in her eyes says "don't mess with me" and the gun in her hand says "oh, and prepare to be messed with."
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

She lobs a jar at you. It explodes at your feet, spraying you with shrapnel and some sort of burning jelly. Not the kind of jelly you'd use in a sandwich. damage+ (fire) damage
She asks if you'd like to see her newest masterpiece. When you say yes, she squirts some acid in your eyes. "Pretty hard to see it now, isn't it?" she shouts. Now that's just uncalled for, you think. Once you've stopped screaming, that is. (acid) damage
She needles you with shrapnel from her gun. Then she needles you again. You insist the second batch of needles was needless, but she's heedless and provides no redress for the needless needles.

She hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! She hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

She lobs a jar at you, but you catch it and lob it back. This continues for a couple of rounds until she gives up and puts the jar away again.
The armored warrior pulls out a rubber bladder and squirts some acid at you. The bladder makes a strange biological sound, embarrassing both of you, and the acid misses.
Her needle gun jams. While she's trying to get it unstuck, it catches on a piece of her outfit and rips it, so then she has to take a needle from the gun to patch the rip back up.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! She takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 76-98 chips.

You gain 95 experience.

You got an item: needler (13.6 ± 2.4%)
You got an item: xentrium breastplate (10.1 ± 2.1%)
You got an item: trylon tights (6.4 ± 1.7%)
You got an item: IQ120 (25.4 ± 3%)