Blasted loader

blasted loader

You are fighting a blasted loader.

Carrying all the pent-up rage that comes with a job like driving a forklift all day, this guy is fed up with loading and ready to start unloading. On someone else. If you get my drift.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:
Unspecified Message

• He's blasted enough to blast you, but he uses the weapon of a less enlightened time.
• He hits you with a shrink-wrapped pallet. Talk about guys who can't leave their work at the office.

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

• He unloads on you, mostly his feeling of being shuffled from dead-end job to dead-end job and never being able to make ends meet. Eventually he gets back to trying to punch you. This guy must go to the weirdest support groups.
• He's blasted enough to blast you, but can't find his blaster. Apparently he's also blasted enough to think he has a blaster.
• He pulls out a shrink-wrapped pallet, realizes he brought his work with him, and drops it like it's hot. Drops it like it's hot. Drops it like it's hot.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 15-29 chips.

You gain 19 experience.

You got an item: iron knuckles (20.2 ± 1.7%)

Known resistances/weaknesses

100% weak to fire damage.

Locations

• Cannonball Tavern
  

References

• The third miss message refers to the song "Drop It Like It's Hot".