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  • Fisticuffs, or fighting with no weapon equipped, counts as a melee weapon.
  • Fisticuffs use the following messages:

Hit Messages

  • you don't have time for anything fancy, so you just slug them as hard as you can. In this case, that's X damage.
  • you're in really close quarters, so your options are limited. Much to your surprise (and your opponent's), you actually pull off a one inch punch! It may have only been one inch, but it hurt like X inches. Whatever that means.
  • you go all Billy Jack on your opponent by slipping off your boots and showing them some sweet Hapkido moves, beating them down for X damage.
  • in this city, you have access to clubs, sticks, swords, guns, lasers, bows, and all sorts of weapons. Why are you punching? Still... I guess it works. If X damage is working.
  • you duck down and slug them hard in a delicate location and follow up with a sharp kick to the side of their knee. Possibly not the most heroic fighting style, but it gets the point across. X points, specifically.

Miss Messages

  • you don't have time for anything fancy, but your opponent does. They duck and weave around your sluggish punches, making you feel a little silly.
  • you're in close quarters, so you try a one inch punch. Yeah, like you could pull that off. Who do you think you are, anyway?
  • you try to go all Billy Jack, but by the time you've slipped off your boots, your opponent has ducked behind some cover. Quit fooling around, you.
  • I don't know why you insist on using no weapons. You weakly punch your opponent and deal no damage. What did you expect?
  • you try to use the brawling skills you learned one night at a local road house, but you're no cooler.

Fumble Message

Fumble! You bob and weave and wind up and slug you opponent hard. This is where we ask who taught you how to make a fist? Specifically, why do you have your thumb on this inside? Well, whatever, you wrenched your thumb something fierce. You didn't quite break it, but you hurt yourself for X damage.

Critical Hit Message

you only use your mighty skills for defense, just like Ki-Lo-Knee taught you, but this bozo won't stop, and needs to be taught a lesson. One boot to the head later, your opponent is writhing on the ground, moaning about the X-point critical "instruction" you just gave them.


  • The second hit and miss messages use the fighting technique one inch punch.
  • The third hit and miss messages refer to the film Billy Jack. The third hit message also mentions the Hapkido martial art, which was the style he used.
  • The fifth miss message refers to the movie Road House, in which Patrick Swayze played a "cooler", or bouncer.
  • The critical hit message refers to the Ti Kwan Leep sketch by The Frantics.

Pages in category "Fisticuffs"

The following 5 pages are in this category, out of 5 total.