Crazy scientician
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| crazy scientician |
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You are fighting a crazy scientician.
When bad students with good minds fail out of accredited colleges and want to continue their research, their only choice is to enroll in a distance learning program in the field of Scientifics. This scientician has a concentration in Potent Potables, which she has taken at the 100, 200, and 300 levels thus far. She'll be taking Potent Potables 400--which meets twice daily--in the fall with Dr. A. Terbeck.
Your opponent attacks ...
Hit messages:
- The scientician whips out a portable electrifimometer and electrififies you with it. (electric) damage
- Producing a pen and paper, she begins to convert you from English units to metric. You find the conversion to be a very painful process. damage+ (psychic) damage
- She quaffs a bubbling potion and quickly grows to double size, at which point she punts you into next Tuesday. PUNT!
She hits you for X damage.
Critical hit message:
Your opponent has a critical hit! She hits you for X damage.
Miss messages:
- She gulps down a can of some fizzing potion. For a moment, nothing happens. Then she belches loudly. Confused, the scientician looks at the can in her hand. "Gingerette?" she says. "How did that get in there?"
- The scientician shoots you with an inflamminator. If you had been on fire, it would have put it out, but as it is it does nothing.
- She hits you with 1500 kilograms of force. You point out that kilograms are mass and not force. Since F = ma, you define a to be a very small number, and all is fine.
Fumble messages:
Your foe fumbles! She takes X damage.
Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!
You gain 96-128 chips.
You gain 105 experience.
You got an item: de-enervation juice 
(11.5 ± 2.2%)
You got an item: embiggening tonic 
(9.7 ± 2%)
You got an item: lab coat 
(7.4 ± 1.8%)
You got an item: caffeine pill 
(10.7 ± 2.1%)
Known resistances/weaknesses
50% resistant to electric damage.
50% weak to acid damage.
Locations
References
- The description contains a reference to the "Potent Potables" category in the game show Jeopardy!, currently hosted by Alex Trebek.
- The third miss message refers to Newton's second law of motion.