Data police

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data police

You are fighting the data police.

The screen prints out, "This computer has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down." You hear sirens in the distance, and then approaching footsteps. Apparently the data police are coming to shut you down.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

  • The data police call in some back-up, and a whole swarm of robotic police gang up on you and introduce you to new realms of pain.
  • Did you know that the data police live inside your head? They come for you in your bed. They're coming to arrest you, oh no! (psychic) damage
  • You start feeling paranoid, knowing that they're waiting for you. They're looking for you. Ev'ry single night... (psychic) damage

They hit you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! They hit you for X damage.

Miss messages:

  • They try to call for back-up, but it seems everyone is 10-7 for a 10-100, so would you please 10-3 already?
  • Using your most authoritative voice, you firmly instruct them not to stand so close to you. Surprisingly, it works.
  • You know that they're watching every move you make and every breath you take, so you file a restraining order.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! They takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 130 experience.

Known resistances/weaknesses

Verified to have no resistances or weaknesses.



Robot.gif This enemy is a robot with an electronic brain.


  • The first miss message uses Ten-code. Roughly it means everyone is out of service for the bathroom, so would you please stop transmitting.
  • Both the second and the third hit messages refer to Cheap Trick's song Dream Police.