Dirty launderer

dirty launderer

You are fighting a dirty launderer.

Walking through the hallways of the casino you pass someone who you initially think is simply a grubby maid carrying a bag of laundry. However, the clink of plax chips inside the bag gives this dirty launderer away!
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

She squirts you in the face with caustic soap. It burns like you wouldn't believe, and that's no lye. (acid) damage
She punches you in the stomach. Not even the most heroic of washboard abs can resist the fighting technique of a launderer.
The launderer hits you with her sack of chips. It's not as dense as a sock full of quarters, but it's bigger and heavier.

She hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! She hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

The launderer tells you to wash behind the ears when you shower. You suppose you can't argue with that--it's good advice.
She swings at you but misses. Looks like she's all washed up.
She's about to mop the floor with you, but you remind her that mopping is janitor's work.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! She takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain ?-49-64-? chips.