ETU brutes

ETU brutes

You are fighting the ETU brutes.

Now, technically, these students from East Twilight University aren't brutes yet, they're just undergrads majoring in Brute Studies. They certainly seem to be on the fast track to villainy if not super...ness.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

• One of the brutes shouts "ETU!" and crushes a can on your head.
• One of the brutes viciously betrays you! You're actually more annoyed with yourself for being surprised than anything else. damage+ (psychic) damage
• The brutes tip over a model building on you, then set it on fire for good measure. When you suggest they fiddle for good measure, they look at you blankly. damage+ (fire) damage

They hit you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! They hit you for X damage.

Miss messages:

• One of the brutes shouts "ETU!" and crushes a can on his head. It looks painful.
• One of the brutes viciously betrays you! You... aren't as surprised as the exclamation point would indicate.
• The brutes tip over a model building on you, but it's only eighteen inches tall, so you're not too concerned.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! They takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 76-164 chips.

You gain 101 experience.

You got an item: torn ETU sweatshirt (10.7 ± 1.5%)
You got an item: laurel root beer (21 ± 2%)

Known resistances/weaknesses

Verified to have no resistances or weaknesses.

Locations

• Ides
  

References

• The name of the foe refers to the quote "Et tu, Bruté?" in the play Julius Caesar. The line (which means "And you, Brutus?" in Latin) is uttered by Julius Caesar as he sees that the group of assassins stabbing him to death includes his friend Brutus. The second hit and miss messages also refer to this assassination.
• The third hit message refers to the apocryphal story of the Roman Emperor Nero playing a fiddle during the Great Fire of Rome.
• The third miss message refers to a scene in the movie This Is Spinal Tap in which a stage prop is inadvertently built 18 inches tall instead of 18 feet tall.