Evil teddy bear

evil teddy bear

You are fighting an evil teddy bear.

Evil teddy bear is evil. It comes to life and attacks you.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

The stuffed bear makes good on the name Teddy by riding rough right over you.
The bear mauls you. You'd think plush and foam wouldn't hurt, but there's a core of deadly steel in its arms.
The bear sinks its teeth into your flesh and shakes you like a pick-a-nick basket.

It hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! It hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

You're attacked by the evil teddy but what's mean lingerie going to do to you, anyway?
The bear mauls you, but the plush and foam have put too much padding on its paws.
The bear tries to rough you up like Roosevelt but does an FDR impression instead of Teddy.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! It takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 20 experience.

You got an item: caffeinated cloth (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: soft fabric (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: unstuffed stuffing (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: unstuffed stuffing (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: unstuffed stuffing (Unspecified Drop rate)

Known resistances/weaknesses

25% weak to fire damage.

The third hit message refers to Yogi Bear's ongoing serial theft of pick-a-nick baskets.
The third miss message refers to teddy bear being named after Theodore Roosevelt, not FDR. The first hit message refers to Theodore Roosevelt and the Rough Riders.
The first miss message refers to Teddy, a type of lingerie.