Freelance teenager

Freelance teenager

How Obtained

Obtained from: Jax 'Za
Duration: 60 minutes

Behavior

Ability: Stops opponent attacks

When blocking:

Your teenage sidekick shouts, "Duck, <player_name>!" at exactly the right time. You duck, and your foe misses.
Your teenage sidekick gets really charged up, and shouts, "Holy moly articholey! I mean hokey smokey artichokey! I mean, wowsers! No, like, gadzooks! Or something!" Your opponent is so confused by the inane string of verbiage that no attack is possible.

Otherwise:

The teenager ineffectively shouts, "Zoinks, that looks dangerous!"
The teenager whines, "Schnikes, this is getting serious. I shouldn't be here!"
Somewhere off to the size you can hear the teenager mutter, "Jinkies, I hope that baddie doesn't see me!"
The teenager erupts with a strange utterance that sounds kind of like, "Oh crikey, oh eck, oh crumb. Oh narf!" and tries to hide.

If you have a sidekick that already blocks attacks then:

The teenager seems entirely too awed by your sidekick. You're supposed to be the awesome one here!

Notes

"Oh crikey, oh eck, oh crumb" is a reference to the character Penfold from the British cartoon DangerMouse
In the same message, "narf" is one of many nonsense phrases uttered by Pinky from the Animaniacs skit (and later cartoon show), Pinky and the Brain.
"Jinkies" is a catch-phrase of the character Velma from Scooby-Doo.
"Zoinks" is a reference to the character Shaggy, also from Scooby-Doo.
"Schnikes" is a phrase used by Chris Farley in the movie Tommy Boy.
"Wowsers" is Inspector Gadget's favorite exclamation, and his plucky niece Penny uses it on occasion as well.