Inspector X

Inspector #<number>

You are fighting Inspector #<number>.

This bot probably had a brand name like "InspecTOR" at some point, but has long forgotten its original programming. It still tries to inspect things, though! So there's that.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

The inspector rejects a can of paint. Which is good, because that stuff can be really toxic. And bad because it rejected the can right into your face. (acid) damage
The inspector momentarily looks at everything, its optical sensors widening as it shorts out, electricity arcing over to you. (electric) damage
The inspector wants to see the color of your blood, but this is a family game, so you just get stabbed a couple of times without obvious injury. Errr...

It hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! It hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

The inspector rejects a can of paint. Which is good, because that stuff can be really toxic. You contact the city's hazardous waste disposal team.
The inspector momentarily looks at everything, but it still doesn't understand what love has to do with it.
The inspector wants to see the color of your blood, but you regretfully inform it you don't bleed.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! It takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 175 experience.

You got an item: inspection tag (30.6 ± 2.5%)
You got an item: magnifying glass (16.1 ± 2%)
You got an item: friendly white balloon (9.6 ± 1.6%)