Intermission
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You're on stage, and nothing's happening. Some pang of personal intuition says go left, but the stage seems more worn to the right, suggesting that's the path more followed. What do you want to do?
Options:
- Exit stage left
- Exit stage right
- Exit stage center
- Exit through the fourth wall (ultra-rare)
| Pick Your Exit |
Results
If you chose Exit stage left:
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Exit Stage Left
Post-haste you exit stage left. Just past the curtains you find a woman sitting at a small booth, whispering commands into a headset and flipping switches on a control panel. This appears to be the stage manager.
The woman glances up from her board and looks you over. "Is the Bard branching out into surrealist plays?" she asks. You open your mouth, but she shakes her head and puts up a hand. "No, don't answer that. I don't even want to know. You look tired, though. That's no good. Here, take one of these, it'll pep you up." She presses a little white pill into your hand.
You got an item: pep-up pill 
Moves your reputation to be less Selfless.
If you chose Exit stage right:
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Exit Stage Right
As you exit the stage you nearly run into a set of twins, one a surprisingly effeminate man and the other a notably masculine woman. You peer closer and realize the two are nearly indistinguishable. For that matter, you're not positive about the sex of either. They each appear to be wearing about ten layers of clothes, alternately masculine and feminine, and the bodies beneath are completely obscured.
The woman (probably?) says, "You've got to help us! The Bard's nuts! He can't tell either of us apart. Every time he sees one of us he thinks we're the other and assumes we're out of costume. Then he waits and watches until we change."
"Yeah," agrees the guy (maybe?). "He won't listen to us, and then he just gets mad when I don't know Viola's lines."
"What? But you are Viola!" says the other. "I'm the one who's Sebastian!"
Before this turns into a serious fight you decide to take pity on the two confused twins and show them the back door that you used to get in. Out of gratitude they slip you a handful of chips on their way out the door. They're still arguing about who's who as you shut the door behind them.
You gain 140-160 chips chips.
Moves your reputation to be more Selfless.
If you chose Exit stage center:
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Exit Stage ... Center?
You dive off the front of the stage. That's a dumb thing to do, because there's an orchestra pit down there. With a thunderous rattling clatter you send instruments (and broken pieces of instruments) flying everywhere as you come to rest on the ground. No sooner have the echoes faded than a storm of voices and footsteps rise up from every corner of the theater as everyone there swarms in to see what's going on. If they all catch you here, you'll be a goner for sure.
Thinking quickly, you find a trap door that leads underneath the stage and scramble inside. You hide there and wait quietly until everyone cleans up the mess and goes back to what they were doing. While you wait you think over the course of recent events. There's a lot to be learned from just the past few minutes, and you've learned that lesson well.
You lose 5-8 HP.
You gain 300 experience.
If you chose Exit through the fourth wall (ultra-rare):
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Breaking the Fourth Wall
You step out into the audience, and start talking to the people seated there. One of them says he's an entertainment junkie, and with a sly smile pulls out a gold-plated disc. "This here is a copy of the best memory every[sic] remembered--I got it on disc a few years back on the black market. You seem like a nice sort, though, and I like your stage presence, so I'll share it with you for free." He winks and hands you the disc.
You got an item: SQUID disc: The Best Memory 
Location(s)
Notes
- This might seem like an exception to the hint in the definition of Reputation, as the button does not say "What do you do?". However, the text does say "What do you want to do?"
References
- The "path more followed" is a possible reference to the poem "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost.
- The "Exit Stage Right" dialog is based on Shakespeare's comedy of mistaken identities, Twelfth Night.