Major General Malaise

Major General Malaise

You are fighting a Major General Malaise.

Beyond the door, your find yourself eye-to-cybernetics with the very model of a future major general.

Malaise apparently got a demotion after the events at the Unborn Base. And is apparently major now. Maybe he's started studying at Firebird College.

If he has, you're pretty sure he's majoring in firearm studies, because that's all that's going on in his firing range. He levels a gun at you... one so large it looks like it should fire other, smaller guns.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

• Malaise can tell the difference between a modern rifle and a javelin, but elects to use his futuristic cannon instead.
• Malaise croaks out an ancient song. It's not mindshatteringly ancient, containing knowledge man was never meant to sing, but you're pretty sure his cybernetics include some serious subcroakers. (sonic) damage
• Malaise figures out a quadratical equation, guiding in a missile to your location with mathematical precision. damage + (fire) damage

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

• Malaise can tell the difference between a modern rifle and a javelin, but you can dodge both... and do... repeatedly.
• Malaise begins croaking out a song, but you convince him to try to hum a fugue instead.
• Malaise botches a quadratical equation, sending a missile soaring over your head. Well, you can probably cross "Math" off the possible major lists.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 200 experience.

Huh, this gadget looks like a bit of cobbled-together trash, but whirs to life when your talisman gets near it... like it's drawing power from it somehow.

You have acquired a new skill: Shooting Shot

Known resistances/weaknesses

50% resistant to physical damage.
50% weak to psychic damage.

Locations

• Firing Range
  

Notes

• At the end of each round of combat,

Bullets zip down the firing range, but you're smart enough to get out of the way.

Malaise unleashes his Shooting Shot, hailing you with guns that in turn hail you with bullets for X damage.

or

Bullets zip down the range. They don't seem to be aimed at you, per se, but that doesn't stop them from dealing you Y damage.

Malaise adds his Shooting Shot (patent pending) to range's zipping bullets, dealing you another X damage.

References

• The description and combat messages refer to the "Major-General's Song".