Massive brute

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massive brute

You are fighting massive brute.

You're a mighty and powerful superhero! Sneaking around is for wimps. You let loose a battle cry and charge into the shack, only to find yourself face to face with a mountain of muscle! This guy is so huge that he has muscles on his muscles. And he doesn't look pleased to see you in the slightest. He bellows defiantly and throws a chair at you, probably because he can't find a car to throw up here.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

  • He swings a fist bigger than your head and connects, leaving you reeling.
  • That aluminum baseball bat looks tiny in his hands but hit like a freight train.
  • Low punch, low punch, high punch, middle kick, uppercut. Five hit combo!

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

  • He swings a fist bigger than your head but you duck and cover, just like you were taught.
  • That aluminum baseball bat doesn't just look tiny, it is. Must be some kind of novelty.
  • He unleashes a five hit combo. You stop playing Road Brawler and get back to the real fight.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 185 experience.

You got an item: aluminum baseball bat Aluminum-bat.gif (Guaranteed Drop)
You got an item: polluted charm Polluted-charm.gif (Guaranteed Drop)
You got an item: tattered shorts Tattered-shorts.gif (19.8 ± 7.9%)

"Okay, uncle!" cries the massive brute. "You're tougher than I thought. Look, I can't tell you anything, except there's a camp out in the mountains that's training us. You'll have to go there if you want to know more, but the Crash Brothers aren't going to like it." The brute gives a gravelly laugh and then limps off into the night, presumably never to be seen again, because that's how these things always work.

Known resistances/weaknesses

50% resistant to physical damage.




  • The third hit and miss messages are a reference to the Street Fighter game series.
  • The first miss message refers to the Duck and cover method of protection from a nuclear explosion. The method was widely taught to schoolchildren in the United States during the Cold War.