Mister Bobo, the superintelligent chimp

Mister Bobo, the superintelligent chimp

You are fighting Mister Bobo, the superintelligent chimp.

The world's only certified genius chimpanzee, Mister Bobo gave up a lucrative position at NASA to pursue his showbiz dreams. Years later, when he realized he wouldn't ever escape being typecast for buddy comedies and working for peanuts, he turned to extortion and eventually armed robbery in an attempt to earn himself that mansion in the suburbs he's always dreamed of.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

Bobo gives you a booboo. With his gun. It actually hurts quite a bit, but everyone's going to make fun of you anyway.
Bobo gives you a headbutt with his massive cranium.
Mister Bobo demonstrates why he's not Doctor Bobo: no Hippocratic oath.

It hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! It hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

Bobo tries to give you a booboo, but you just can't take it seriously.
Bobo swings his head around, trying to give you a headbutt, but is dragged over by his massive cranium.
Mister Bobo takes a break from combat to hit school. He's not going to become Doctor Bobo without putting in the work, after all.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! It takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain ?-23-213-? chips.