Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
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| Rosencrantz and Guildenstern |
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You are fighting Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
The erstwhile companions and spies for the evil king Claudius seem to have lost their Danish prince, Hamlet. So now they're looking for anyone else they can drag off with them to England for execution.
Your opponent attacks ...
Hit messages:
- They hit you sternly in the guilden and then crantz you roughly in the rosen. Man, that really hurts!
- Guildenstern flips a coin. It's heads, which means he gets to hit you. You wonder if the coin is rigged, and he hits you while you're distracted.
- "Would you like to play a game of Questions?" Rosencrantz asks.
You say, "Sure, that sounds like fun!"
You lose, and they punch you in the shoulder, really hard.
It hits you for X damage.
Critical hit message:
Your opponent has a critical hit! It hits you for X damage.
Miss messages:
- They guilden your rosen and then stern your crantz. It sounds unpleasant, but it's not so bad. Sort of like when the chiropractor pops every joint in your neck at once. After the initial horror fades, you actually feel better.
- Rosencrantz flips a coin. It's heads, which means he gets to hit you. You're ready, though, and dodge successfully.
- "Would you like to play a game of Questions?" Guildenstern asks.
"How does it work?" you ask in return.
"Well," says Guildenstern, "the first one to not ask a question loses." You cock one eyebrow and smile. Guildenstern looks at you for a second and then hangs his head in shame.
Fumble messages:
Your foe fumbles! It takes X damage.
Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!
You gain 83-138 chips.
You gain 101 experience.
You got an item: deterministic coin 
(14.8 ± 1%)
You got an item: prabble crossbow 
(10.4 ± 0.8%)
You got an item: decorated jerkin 
(10%)
Known resistances/weaknesses
50% resistant to electric damage.
50% weak to acid damage.
Locations
References
- The contents of this fight are a slight departure from the purely Shakespearean adventures within Cube Theater. The references are mostly relevant to Tom Stoppard's re-envisioning of Hamlet in his play Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead. In Stoppard's play Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are revised from minor supporting characters to become the central focus of the story. The deterministic coin and other pieces of text are allusions to the larger themes of free will vs. determinism within Stoppard's play. One of the major plot points is that the two titular characters are struggling with the foreknowledge that they are scripted to die during the course of the original story. As a result, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern spend most of their time idly philosophizing and playing games such as "questions" while they await what seems like their inevitable fate(s).