Studio executive
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You are fighting a studio executive.
An obviously addled and confused studio executive is out here in the desert, cruising Area 54 in search of his studio. He seems somewhat hyperactive and keeps muttering strange catch-phrases to himself.
Your opponent attacks ...
Hit messages:
- The executive pulls out a vial of powdered mojo, takes a pinch of it, and then proceeds to pummel you rapidly.
- The executive strikes out with an awkward but effective karate chop. "Does that make you randy, baby?" he shouts. If by "randy" he means "hurt a lot" then yeah, it does. Otherwise, no, not so much.
- He screams into the night air like a fireman going to a window that has no fire ... so then he sets you on fire. Ow!
He hits you for X damage.
Critical hit message:
Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.
Miss messages:
- The executive whistles loudly. A miniature version of himself jumps out from behind some bushes, charges you, and begins to kick you with his little feet. You almost pull a muscle trying not to laugh, but otherwise it doesn't hurt much.
- The executive starts to attack, but gets caught up in dancing when a Queen song blasts from the boom-box he's carrying. By the time the song is over, he's forgotten what he was doing.
- He spends five minutes trying to explain how studio executives are like onions. It doesn't make much sense, but it doesn't hurt, either.
Fumble messages:
Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.
Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!
You gain 57-94 chips.
You gain 65 experience.
You got an item: polyester suit 
(10.2 ± 2.2%)
You got an item: vial of powdered mojo 
(19.2 ± 2.8%)
Known resistances/weaknesses
Verified to have no resistances or weaknesses.
Locations
References
- The image is a picture of Mike Myers.
- All of the monster's miss messages are references to Mike Myers movies.
- The second hit message, the first miss message and the vial of powdered mojo drop all reference the Austin Powers series (starring Mike Myers).
- The second miss message refers to the movie Wayne's World. The Queen song is "Bohemian Rhapsody".
- The third hit message refers to the movie So I Married an Axe Murderer.
- The third miss message refers to the movie Shrek.