Triumphant and terrible titan

triumphant and terrible titan

You are fighting the triumphant and terrible titan.

This dude is huge! You're not sure how you didn't notice him before, but he's all ready to throw down with you regardless. It seems he takes a dim view of you thrashing his minions and wants to have a few words with you about it. Except that in this case "words" is code for "smashing your face in."
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

Being fond of the letter T, he dumps a container of tetrachloroethylene on you. Your clothes are now clean, but it really burns. (acid) damage
He raises a massive, impossibly muscled arm and smashes, pounding you into the ground like a cartoon tent pole.
He bellows in rage and flexes, shredding even more of his clothes, revealing bits you'd just as soon not see. (psychic) damage

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

Since he's so full of testosterone, you deploy the one thing that can stop him: clips from romantic comedies.
He raises a massive, impossibly muscled arm to hit you, but you mock him as a throw-back to horrible 90's comics.
He bellows in rage and flexes, shredding even more of his clothes. You point and laugh and he slinks off to change.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 125 experience.

You got an item: infinitesimal ionized ingot (51.1 ± 10.3%)
You got an item: carbonated cadmium calipers (45.7 ± 10.3%)
You got an item: random raggedy rod (Guaranteed Drop)
You got an item: luxurious leather lanyard (55.3 ± 10.3%)
You got an item: gossamer glass goblet (46.8 ± 10.3%)
You got an item: positively purple phone (42.6 ± 10.2%)
You got an item: wiggling wombat whiskers (44.7 ± 10.3%)