Velour Skyscraper

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Velour Skyscraper

You are fighting Velour Skyscraper.

This is an old band doing a reunion tour, featuring original members Al Woodwind and Jim Chard, along with some fill-in female dancers, just for the heck of it. They're a bit unruly, though. One of the members approaches, holds up the back of his hand, and announces "Peel slowly and see!" Gradually he pulls down the thumb, pinky, ring, and index fingers, leaving a single pink digit exposed to your face. That's all you need to get the fight started.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

  • They all band together, pull out a giant rubber band, and smack it against your skin.
  • The band turns up a loudspeaker and blasts you with a deafening chord. (sonic) damage
  • The band smashes a guitar over your head, shattering it. The guitar, not your head. Though it's pretty close with your head, too.



They hit you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! They hit you for X damage.



Miss messages:

  • They try to rock your world, but you roll to the side and dodge.
  • The band tries to blast you with music, but the acoustic instruments don't get nearly loud enough.
  • The band tries to submit you to their worst riot impression, but it's a quiet riot, and mostly harmless.



Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! They takes X damage.


Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!


You gain 12-31 chips.

You gain (Level*8, cap 250) experience.

You got an item: band-aid (15.2 ± 0.8%)
You got an item: bandana (14.9 ± 0.8%)
You got an item: bandolier (15.9 ± 0.9%)
You got an item: bandwagon (3.1 ± 0.4%)
You got an item: banned book (3 ± 0.4%)





Known resistances/weaknesses

Verified to have no resistances or weaknesses.


Locations

References

  • Al woodwind refers to Lou Reed, one of the original founders of The Velvet Underground. Reed is a thin strip of material used in woodwind instruments.
  • Jim Chard refers to the other founder John Cale. Cale is a variant spelling of Kale, a vegetable. Chard is another vegetable.