What About Sinplay or Tangentplay?

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As you're strolling around the convention hall, a bunch of people start taking your picture. You aren't sure what's going on, but it eventually becomes clear that they think you're some kind of cosplayer. They don't get your costume, but it's so crazy, it must be from something really obscure! The guy running the booth you're standing in front of gives you some swag in return for blocking someone else's displays.

You got an item: aeropack

or

You got an item: broadsword of amorphous hatred

or

You got an item: cloak of limited visibility

or

You got an item: colossal jawbreaker

or

You got an item: crossbow stock

or

You got an item: juggling clubs

or

You got an item: motivational DVD

or

You got an item: quasidimensional gloves

or

You got an item: registry cleaner software

or

You got an item: shotgun of volatile enmity

or

You got an item: unrequited lovers' locket

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