Zion's Tears cult follower
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| Zion's Tears cult follower |
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You are fighting a Zion's Tears cult follower.
A woman in plain and grubby Zion's Tears robes takes offense at your "colorful" costume and charges you. Not for the last time you think it would be nice if more cults would pick meekness as a founding virtue.
Your opponent attacks ...
Hit messages:
- You block the follower's attack, but you've forgotten the wisdom once imparted to you: Two there are always, a master and a student. The master attacks you from behind while you're focused on the student.
- If there's one thing cult followers have, it's good follow through. So when she hits you with her left, it's no surprise she proceeds to hit you even harder with her right.
- It's a rarely recognized fact that when you give up your worldly possessions and spend most of your time providing free manual labor to the leader, it makes you surprisingly strong. So, say, when you go to punch out some meddlesome person in a costume who's bothering you, they probably won't be ready for the force of the punch. Except that "you" in this case is the follower and "they" are you, the hero. Confused yet?
She hits you for X damage.
Critical hit message:
Your opponent has a critical hit! She hits you for X damage.
Miss messages:
- You trick her into playing a game of follow the leader and the two of you walk around in circles for a couple of minutes.
- It's her turn to attack, but she's a follower, not a leader, so she does nothing.
- She has to stop for a minute and shed a few tears for Zion.
Fumble messages:
Your foe fumbles! She takes X damage.
Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!
You gain 15-25 chips.
You gain 53 experience.
You got an item: SQUID disc: 30 Days to Greater Humility 
(41.3 ± 3.8%)
You got an item: frying pan 
(17.7 ± 2.9%)
You got an item: dishwasher's gloves 
(18.6 ± 3%)
Known resistances/weaknesses
100% weak to sonic damage.
Locations
References
- The first hit reference is almost a direct quote of Yoda from Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace: "Always two there are. No more, no less. A Master and an apprentice."