Zion's Tears cult leader
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| Zion's Tears cult leader |
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You are fighting a Zion's Tears cult leader.
You encounter a man dressed in the robes of a Zion's Tears cultist. Judging by the fancy highlights--it's been washed recently--this must be one of the cult leaders.
Your opponent attacks ...
Hit messages:
- His powers of persuasion cause you to doubt yourself, which we all know is the most painful act of all. (psychic) damage
- The leader sees your will is too strong to give in to his cult teachings, so he introduces you to the "cult of the two-by-four." Apparently your back isn't as strong as your will.
- He suckers you in with a catchy song about "the leader" and then punches you when your guard is down.
He hits you for X damage.
Critical hit message:
Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.
Miss messages:
- You resist his powers of persuasion by repeating the mantra, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!"
- He tries to convert you, but you remember what you learned from the "Just Say No to Cults" after school special and resist.
- He tries to brainwash you, but your mind is too dirty to ever be washed completely clean.
Fumble messages:
Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.
Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!
You gain 34-57 chips.
You gain 57 experience.
You got an item: platinum necklace 
(38.1 ± 3.6%)
Known resistances/weaknesses
Verified to have no resistances or weaknesses.
Locations
References
- The first miss message refers to the spoof on individuals who are obsessed with twelve-step programs and become addicted to the actual act of going to therapy for addiction in a book called "I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!" by Stuart Smalley.