ReBard

ReBard

You are fighting the ReBard.

No, he's not a length of steel added to improve the lateral strength of concrete. This is your old friend the Bard. Bigger and badder than ever.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

• He sneers at you and cuts loose with some astounding snark that really hurts your feelings. (psychic) damage
• He sings a beepy-boopy song and suddenly a torrential fire rains down on you. (fire) damage
• But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is YOUR FACE!

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

• He cuts loose with some snark, but you've read Al Jaffee, so you zing him right back.
• He sings a beepy-boopy song but it just creates a magical light. Pretty.
• He tries to bust out an olde timey insult, but it makes no sense.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 200 experience.

Huh, this gadget looks like a bit of cobbled-together trash, but whirs to life when your talisman gets near it... like it's drawing power from it somehow.

You have acquired a new skill: Casting Reel

Known resistances/weaknesses

Unspecified

Locations

• Backstage
  

Notes

• At the end of each round of combat,

sometimes

A weight drops in the distance. You don't pay it much attention until the rope it's attached to loops around your foot and drags you away from your opponent.

foe becomes "Distant"

or, if wielding a melee weapon

A weight drops in the distance. You don't pay it much attention until the rope it's attached to loops around your foot and drags you away from your opponent. That'll make it pretty hard to use your <melee weapon>.

foe becomes "Distant"

always, with or without the previous message

The ReBard lures you close with his Casting Reel and beats you with a copy of his collected works for X damage.

or

The ReBard hooks you with his Casting Reel and brings you crashing to the ground for X damage.

foe becomes "Close"

or, if wielding a ranged weapon

The ReBard hooks you with his Casting Reel and brings you crashing to the ground for X damage. That'll make it pretty hard to use your <ranged weapon>.

foe becomes "Close"

• If the foe is "Distant", your next melee attack is replaced by:

You rush up, closing the distance with your opponent.

• If the foe is "Close", your next ranged attack attack is replaced by:

You rush back, opening up some distance between you and your opponent.

References

• The third hit message refers to a line in Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet.
• The first miss message refers to Al Jaffee, who wrote "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions" for Mad Magazine.