Difference between revisions of "Lack of pies"

Revision as of 13:20, 31 January 2009

lack of pies
Plural: lack of pies
This is a large deck of cards, each one blank except for a single typed statement. Each and every statement is written with terminological inexactitude. Prevarication that is; fiction, myth. I'm talking pure balderdash. This pack dies like the level ... lies like the devil!

Miscellaneous Item
Autosell value: 20
Usable
Combat Usable

Dank and Rusty Maze

• band that heeds you
• slick thug
• thick slug
  

You pluck a card out of the deck and read it. It says:

Don't give up! Your opponent has a weakness ...

or

Give him a fast uppercut when he is stunned.

or

Watch his Bull Charge!

or

You're good enough, you're smart enough, and gosh darn it people like you.

or

If I were you I'd be done by now.

or

I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

or

You deserve a raise.

or

If you type "oink" in chat it opens up a special pig level.

or

This guy totally wants to be friends.

or

You don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment.

or

This card good for one level-up at the Heroes' Guild.

or

Join the Nintendo fun club today! (your name).

or

No, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Not at all.

or

Everything is fine. Really.

or

This deck comes with a satisfaction guarantee and a money-back warranty.

or

(your name) is the coolest hero name ever. Seriously.

or

I didn't do it.

or

I hear there's a merit badge for beating yourself up.

or

There's a check in the mall for you.

or

Go to the casino and put everything on Scissors. You can't lose!

or

The Mick is your father.

Final use:
Oops! Looks like that's the last card in the deck.

Using multiple: Unspecified

You wouldn't be in this situation if you were a better person.

References

• The name of this item is a spoonerism of "pack of lies".
• "I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today." is a famous quote by the character J. Wellington Wimpy in the comics Thimble Theater and in the Popeye cartoons.
• "Give him a fast uppercut when he is stunned.", "Watch his Bull Charge!" and "Join the Nintendo fun club today!" are quotes from the Nintendo game Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!