Royals and the Tannenbaum

Royals and the Tannenbaum

You are fighting Royals and the Tannenbaum.

A collaboration effort made up of members of other royally named bands, this band consists of an American jack who spends half of his time singing in falsetto, a flamboyant Brit who spends half of his time singing in falsetto, a Danish diamond who spends most of his time shrieking in a very weird falsetto, and a drum machine situated in a Christmas tree.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

• They all band together, pull out a giant rubber band, and smack it against your skin.
• The band turns up a loudspeaker and blasts you with a deafening chord. (sonic) damage
• The band smashes a guitar over your head, shattering it. The guitar, not your head. Though it's pretty close with your head, too.

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

• They try to rock your world, but you roll to the side and dodge.
• The band tries to blast you with music, but the acoustic instruments don't get nearly loud enough.
• The band tries to submit you to their worst riot impression, but it's a quiet riot, and mostly harmless.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 12-31 chips.

You gain (Level*8, cap 250) experience.

You got an item: band-aid (15.2 ± 0.8%)
You got an item: bandana (14.9 ± 0.8%)
You got an item: bandolier (15.9 ± 0.9%)
You got an item: bandwagon (3.1 ± 0.4%)
You got an item: banned book (3 ± 0.4%)

Known resistances/weaknesses

Verified to have no resistances or weaknesses.

Locations

• Battle of the Bands
  

References

• The band name references the movie The Royal Tenenbaums.
• The description refers to Face cards.
• A "Danish diamond" refers to the danish band King Diamond.
• The "American jack" is the musician Prince.
• The "flamboyant Brit" is probably Freddie Mercury of the band Queen.
• Tannenbaum is German for a Christmas tree.