Talk:Heirloom Derby

Okay, I cleaned house in the heirloom derby. So, for the sake of documentation:

(1 frisbee, 2 coatees, 1 epee, 1 levee, 1 humvee, 1 bungee, 1 filigree) - seven kinds of prize- this jives with the number of prizes previously in rotation (also seven)

ye olde frisbee

Back before cheap modern plastic frisbees, they were cherished and passed from generation to generation. And now it's reached your hands... hands that are now covered in toffee residue from handling it.

Well, that explains the mystery of ye olde frisbee construction techniques.

Heirloom Derby Speed Winner Reward

Ranged weapon (Archaic blunt) Power: 50 Item cannot be traded or sold Item cannot be auto-sold +1 extra ranged attack(s) per turn Better the longer it's been in the family --

ye olde coatee

Presumably old coats are just coates, because this coat is older than old. But it comes from a long and proud martial tradition, so maybe some of that will run off on you.

Heirloom Derby Speed Runner Up Reward

Shirt Power: 50 Item cannot be traded or sold Item cannot be auto-sold +2 weapon damage (ranged or melee) Better the longer it's been in the family

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ye olde epee

An epee is a fancy sword for fencing that has nothing to do with your gaming prowess. It's of like a rapier, but less witty.

Heirloom Derby Mettle Winner Reward

Melee weapon (Piercing) Power: 50 Item cannot be traded or sold Item cannot be auto-sold +10% offense No weapon fumbles, ever. Better the longer it's been in the family

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ye olde levee

Although not properly a berm of earth for holding back waters, this is a barrier of a different kind. And it can technically hold back water, along with all sorts of other things. Like electricity and self-doubt and that noise the kids call music these days.

Heirloom Derby Mettle Runner Up Reward

Offhand Item Power: 10 Item cannot be traded or sold Item cannot be auto-sold +3% resistance to all elements Better the longer it's been in the family

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ye olde humvee

This ancient military vehicle is certain not to inspire a short-lived fashion craze. But it's pretty well armored, so you're unlikely to run into too many problems while you're driving it around.

Heirloom Derby Secret Reward

Transportation Range: 3 Item cannot be traded or sold Item cannot be auto-sold +1 damage absorption Better the longer it's been in the family

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ye olde bungee

Man, do you remember attaching the canoe to the top of the car and heading out into the woods with your parents? Yeah, me either, but this bungee cord is great for bringing things back and, perhaps more importantly, not snapping under any circumstances.

Heirloom Derby Secret Reward

Miscellaneous Item Item cannot be traded or sold Item cannot be auto-sold Combat Usable Better the longer it's been in the family

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ye olde filigree

When you need to make an object fancy, look no further than filigree. Fancy house? Filigree. Fancy sword? Filigree. Fancy book? Filigree. Fancy hero?

Heirloom Derby Secret Reward

Accessory Item cannot be traded or sold Item cannot be auto-sold +3% chips Better the longer it's been in the family

Messages:

Hey, future self, I found this while I was going through my stacks of mettle last month. I hope you like it. Included item: ye olde filigree (quantity 1)

Wow, future self, I went back and forth so many times I almost gave myself whiplash. Good thing I got this cord for us. Included item: ye olde bungee (quantity 1)

Hey future self, guess what's behind door number two in the glistening fleur-de-lis derby. A new car! Actually, it's an old car but... you get the idea Included item: ye olde humvee (quantity 1)

Hello future self! We didn't quite get the mettlest glistening fleur-de-lis run, so I decided we needed more mettle... er, metal... in shield form. We know what I mean. Included item: ye olde levee (quantity 1)

Hello future self! In honor of our totally metal glistening fleur-de-lis run, I got you these totally metal sword. It's actually made of toffee, but we know what I mean. Included item: ye olde epee (quantity 1)

Hello future self! We didn't quite snap off the speediest glistening fleur-de-lis run, but I got you this snappy coat. Included item: ye olde coatee (quantity 1)

Hello future self! We had the speediest glistening fleur-de-lis run, so you get my fastest frisbee. Included item: ye olde frisbee (quantity 1)

--Penguinpyro (talk) 20:06, 30 September 2017 (PDT)