General Farming

TheK3vin's Super Ultimate Optimization to the Point that it's Just Ridiculous 1st Edition (Tentative Title)

Introduction

So. If you've been farming for 2 years, are getting a hundred chips a day, and know everything there is to know about farming, then you're probably lying. But whatever the case may be, if you're an experienced farmer, you're not likely to find a lot of new information here. In fact, you might find a bunch of completely false information. This guide is not for you. However, this is a wiki, so feel free to edit it. This guide IS for

• Players who have been playing for a while and are interested in getting into farming.
• Players have been farming for a little while, and want to improve their income
• Players who have the supernatural ability to bear my writing style

So let's get started then.

Locations

The Cube Theater. That's it. Yes, for lower-level players, the casino is best. But you're not a low-level player, are you? If you were, why would you be at all interested in Super Ultimate Optimization to the Point that it's Just Ridiculous? That's about as realistic as... Um... Something that would be witty to say is not realistic. But I digress. Whatever that means. Here's why you'd be stupid to suggest farming anywhere else:

• The average chips per adventure are the highest (meaning the average chips gained per turn of all of the possible patrols is higher than anywhere else [about 100, if you're interested]).
• The items you get can be autosold for a very generous sum of chips at the end of the day.
• Actually there's only two. A list just doesn't look impressive if there's only 2 items in it.

Non-Combats

The optimal farming technique regarding noncombats in the Cube is a mixture of exiting stage right and left, using left just enough to maintain a vigilante reputation so you can use the Publicist, in conjunction with the judo kid gloves. Now, where you draw the line is up to you, but if you want to be REALLY optimal the best strategy is to use your turns just right such that at the end of the day you are a vigilante so you can get your Publicist for the day, and then allowing your reputation to drift to the right while exiting stage right and getting the chips. Do I do this? No. Does ANYBODY do this? I should hope not. But we're talking Super Ultimate Optimization, so there you go. Moving on.

Equipment

Neither +%chips or +%items are optimal alone- the best is a combination of the two. That being said, in most equipment slots there is an obvious superior for either one. For instance, the only pair of boots that has either is Roderick's Boots, so you'll be using those, which are +10% chips.

• Next, your helmet. The only helmet that increases item or chip drops is the Royal Crown, which increases chip drops by 5%. But it is believed that The Virtual Reality helmet is better for farming overall. Whether or not the “Improved Computer Interaction” gets you more chips when used with the software Financial Prudence and Prepunctuality is questionable (I don't have one to be honest, feel free to edit this if you've found out either way), but the bonus stats and XP are enough to sway most players who have one. If you don't, I hope you can still sleep at night knowing that your crown is probably just as good maybe.

• (I'll be using X to indicate bow, end, or arm)

For your weapon, you'll want to use a LongX of the Law (see how this is working here?), which grants +5% chips. The other option would be a Short X of the stick, which is only 3% item drops. 3 is less than 5. There you go.

• The best shirt you can use is the Letter Shirt, which shaves 15 seconds off of every turn, which will end up giving you a solid 7 turns or so extra a day. It doesn't increase item or chip drops, but the only shirt that does is the harness, which is a measly 2% items. Plus, a theater is one of the worst places to be walking around in wearing a harness.

• Your gloves are gonna be sticky gloves. They're the only ones that give +%items or chips. Easy.

• Pants are kinda funky (Hah, see what I did there? No? You will in a second). There are no +%items or chips pants currently in the game. Technically. I typically farm either in hot pants or pantsless, but that's a matter of personal preference. But I remind you we're talking about Super Ultimate Optimization to the Point that it's Just Ridiculous. This is by no means a good reason to go spending a bunch of stars on them, but if you're absolutely crippled by OCD the Amazing Technicolor Dreampants will occasionally give you an almost negligible amount of +%items. If you have them, you're probably already wearing them though.

• For you boots, you'll want to use Roderick's. I explained why a few paragraphs up.

• There are two perfectly viable offhand items for farming. The plasticscanner gives +10% chip drops, and the isotope meter gives +10% item drops. The decision is made more easily, however, when you note the fact that most of the time you'll have +40% item drops from your accessories, so you need all the chips you can get. Go with the plasticscanner.

• Accessories. Hm. I was actually banking on my getting bored before I got to this part. Well, here we go... There are two IotM accessories that are extremely good for farming- the Hero's Cape and Wolley's Index. And in the days of old, this was all a hero needed to go off gallivanting and merrily collecting chips at the Cube Theater. But then Ryme made the Judo Kid Gloves. So now, your first 30 turns or so should be spent with the Judo Kid Gloves, while you have your Publicist. That's the fun part- when you get those 500 chip drops that are so pleasing to any true farmer's eye. But then comes the not fun part, when you have to start thinking about getting other sidekicks. If you have a spare Couch lying around, feel free to use crows and Mafia informers. But I would suggest to those of you who don't not to bother, as it really is just a pain the ass finding people willing to sell them. Same goes for harmonicas and monkeys.

• Personally, I use the Ultimate Aviator Goggles for my talisman. They're (relatively) cheap, and they (probably) have a net increase on your chips-per-day. They also provide two other benefits; one of which is they just look kinda cool in your profile, and the second only applies to Psions. More on that later.

• Your transportation should be, naturally, the VHF-1 Fighter. Why is this? Well, first off it's an Item of the Month so it's just about guaranteed to be the best in most situations. But more specifically, it gives you 2 to 4 PP every turn. Why is this good? Well it only is to Psions. If not, use a moped for all I care. If you are, more on that... right now.

Class

Yes, that's right. Not all heroes are created equal. For farming, it is the unfortunate fact that Psions are by far the best class for farming. They are overpowered, imbalanced, and all-around jerks to compete with when it comes to chips. This is actually for more than 2 to reasons.

• Psions get a passive skill at level 10 that gives them 30 extra minutes per day. Yeah. Seriously. This means that at 500 chips per turn (that's how much you're getting, right? Cuz I am), you get about 3500 chips more than the other classes PER DAY.
• Psions have a skill (not a buff. Sorry other classes) which gives them +25% chips. That's a lot. If you didn't know.
• This one's a bit of a stretch, but you know. SUOttPtiJR. If you have Ultimate Aviator Goggles and a VHF-1 (or a Lexura, for those of us who don't have chips pouring out of our pockets), you'll be getting 4-6 PP a turn. How, do you ask, can you turn these points into chips? Well, this is just between you and me, but... buffs. That's right. For every 12 PP, you can send a warrior hologram to a friend, who sends it back to you for a total profit of 5 chips. That's what we in the business call living large. Oh, and on a side note, it may seem like a good idea to just use a multi to exchange holograms back and forth with, but it's probably not. And on another side note, Naturalists can do this as well, just with a much lower PP-to-chips return.

Okay, so there's still only 3, and I'll admit the last one isn't the most imbalancing factor in the world. I'm trying my best here.

Caffeine and Sugar

Here's some good news. Because you're buying food to make chips, not spend them, you can stick with vendor stuff and still be optimal. That's right, Mister Teas and Eyeball gum balls. The gum balls are the only thing worth going into any detail on- I suggest buying some obscene amount of gum balls from the machine and either autoselling the colored ones (Huh.) or giving thousands away to random newbies, just for kicks. I'm partial to the second, less racist-sounding choice, but it is once again up to you.

Buffs

• Keen Observation. This is an obvious one.
• The Naturalist buff, Snout of the Swine. Also obvious.
• Metal Detector, from a Gadgeteer. Also also obvious.
• Sinus of the Shark. Also also al- Wait, what? Yes. Sinus of the Shark reduces your rate of noncombat adventures. You will, with my sagely advice, be getting far more than 150 chips per turn in combat, so you'll want as low a combat rate as possible.

I suppose I should also reiterate on the whole sidekick thing while we're here- You should have a Vigilante reputation, and use the Publicist for the 120 minutes you're given him a day. After that, it's probably better to go it alone, unless you have a Plaid Couch.

Effects

To be added as soon as somebody convinces me it's worth the pain in the ass to stockpile all those damn items.

Outroduction

If you made it this far, I'm sorry.