Lack of pies
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This page contains some non specific data which NEEDS SPADING: how many times can it be used? |
lack of pies
Plural: lack of pies
This is a large deck of cards, each one blank except for a single typed statement. Each and every statement is written with terminological inexactitude. Prevarication that is; fiction, myth. I'm talking pure balderdash. This pack dies like the level ... lies like the devil!
Miscellaneous Item
Autosell value: 20
Usable
Combat Usable
How Obtained
When Used
You pluck a card out of the deck and read it. It says:
Don't give up! Your opponent has a weakness ...
or
Give him a fast uppercut when he is stunned.
or
Watch his Bull Charge!
or
You're good enough, you're smart enough, and gosh darn it people like you.
or
If I were you I'd be done by now.
or
I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
or
You deserve a raise.
or
If you type "oink" in chat it opens up a special pig level.
or
This guy totally wants to be friends.
or
You don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment.
or
This card good for one level-up at the Heroes' Guild.
or
Join the Nintendo fun club today! <player>.
or
No, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Not at all.
or
Everything is fine. Really.
or
This deck comes with a satisfaction guarantee and a money-back warranty.
or
<player> is the coolest hero name ever. Seriously.
or
I didn't do it.
or
I hear there's a merit badge for beating yourself up.*
or
There's a check in the mail for you.
or
Go to the casino and put everything on Scissors. You can't lose!
or
The Mick is your father.
Final use:
Oops! Looks like that's the last card in the deck.
same as non-combat use, except for the message when being used the final time:
- Your opponent smacks the deck out of your hand, scattering the cards to the four winds.
References
- The name of this item is a spoonerism of "pack of lies".
- "I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today." is a famous quote by the character J. Wellington Wimpy in the comics Thimble Theater and in the Popeye cartoons.
- "Give him a fast uppercut when he is stunned.", "Watch his Bull Charge!" and "Join the Nintendo fun club today!" are quotes from the Nintendo game Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!
- The statement "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me" was often used by the character Stuart Smalley on the television show Saturday Night Live.
- One of these is in fact true. (*)
