Costumed thug (arcadian)

a costumed thug

You are fighting a costumed thug.

This guy is either a creepy fetishist, or he's dressed as one of those non-Spartan Arcadian guys from that one movie will^[sic] all the yelling and killing. Hopefully the latter.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

Like everyone else in that movie, he screams at you. Needless to say, this causes a whopper of a headache. (sonic) damage
He charges and attacks without any grace or skill, but it's effective.
He starts whining and complaining about how hopeless your cause is. What a downer. (psychic) damage

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

He starts screaming, but you'd^[sic] had enough of this nonsense and these references. You kick him in^[sic] a conveniently placed pit.
He tries some of the super-awesome moves from the movie. Since this isn't a movie, it's pretty useless.
He starts complaining, but you've dealt with customer service reps before, and this guy's^[sic] bush league.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 10 experience.

You got an item: digital saber (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: harness (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: spooked credo (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: shield of Zion (Unspecified Drop rate)