Firebird College at Philbin

Firebird College at Philbin
Location:	Out in the Desert
Unlocks:	after the level 9 quest

Far outside of Twilight lies the little town of Philbin, nearly lost in the desert. Their one claim to fame is a booming distance-learning program, supported by a single physical office building that offers a few classes to the locals. Their cutsey logo features a vaguely familiar phoenix delivering a diploma.

You look over the college's course catalog. Nothing really interests you, but your understudy, always ready to learn, seems curious about the offerings.

• After all classes have been taken:

Your understudy has already learned all of the classes that the college has to offer.

• Otherwise:

	Class	Price	Description	Cap
Business
	Flea Market Smarts	2000 chips	Items Gain	Level 10
Creative Arts
	Documentary Arts	2000 chips	XP Gain	Level 10
	Mimicry	1000 chips	Increases Foe Level	Level 10
Physical Arts
	Self Defense	500 chips	Attacks	Level 10
	Karate	1000 chips	Attacks	Level 20
	Jujitsu	1000 chips	Blocks	Level 10
	Massage Therapy	1000 chips	Restores HP and PP	Level 10

Yes, That's My Final Answer

Messages

• Flea Market Smarts:

It turns out that flea market smarts mostly requires having several large volumes of different types of items and their market value. Large volumes written and self-published by the instructor of the class, funny enough. Still, your sidekick ought to have a good eye for valuables, as long as they keep the books around.

• Documentary Arts:

Most of the cost of this class comes from needing to buy the equipment: camera, film, lots of batteries. The class itself boils down to "record a lot of stuff and watch the highlights."

• Mimicry :

After just a few short classes your understudy is such an accomplished mimic they've got you saying "Stop doing that! I don't act like that!" at a fifth-degree level of annoyance.

• Self Defense:

Your sidekick studies self defense for a while. Turns out most of the trick is putting your pointy bits (knees, elbows, and the like) into their tender bits (groins, eyes, and the like).

• Karate:

Your understudy picks up the karate lessons quickly. Class graduation involves catching a fly with chopsticks, after which the instructor says there is no more to learn.

• Jujitsu:

All your understudy says after the last session is, "Whoah, I know kung fu." It's not technically accurate, but who's going to argue with a jujitsu expert?

• Massage Therapy:

Your understudy learns to do things with elbows and fingertips that can tenderize even your heroic muscles.

• Selecting no class:

You seem to be trying to buy a skill that you already have.

• During the Cat and Mick-y Mouse Game quest:

Your kidnapped sidekick isn't available to sit in a classroom right now. The whole being kidnapped thing, you know.

References

• "Philbin" is a reference to Regis Philbin, making this a reference to Regis University.

• "Yes That's My Final Answer" is a reference to Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, which Regis Philbin hosted.

• Since Phoenix is also known as the firebird, "Firebird College" can also be a reference to the University of Phoenix, which has a distance learning program with a significant net presence.
• "catching a fly with chopsticks" refers to a scene from The Karate Kid.
• "I know kung fu" is most likely a quote from The Matrix.