Brutal fan

brutal fan

You are fighting a brutal fan.

A student rushes towards you from down the hall, wearing a discounted "Crash Brothers #1" t-shirt and rushing towards you like the Crash Brothers would have if they were sort of gangly instead of slabs of pure muscle. Anyway, he seems really angry at you, but the reason why remains a mystery.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

The fan remembers the Crash Brothers beating you up and thunderously applauds. You try to correct him, but the applause is too loud and his head canon too strong. X (sonic) damage
The fan isn't sure what the Crash Brothers would do in this situation, so just settles for punching you really hard.
Your opponent gets a brutal hit! The fan channels his inner Crash Brother, hurling himself at you with tremendous force.

He hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! He hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

The fan remembers the Crash Brothers beating you up and begins applauding until you remind him of what actually happened.
The fan isn't sure what the Crash Brothers would do in this situation, so by the time he settles on punching you, you've already dodged.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! He takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain chips.

You gain ?-160-? experience.

You got an item: super distressed shirt (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: arm sling (Unspecified Drop rate)
You got an item: Crash Brother bobblehead (Unspecified Drop rate)