Studio executive

Return to outskirts of Area 54

You are fighting a studio executive.

An obviously addled and confused studio executive is out here in the desert, cruising Area 54 in search of his studio. He seems somewhat hyperactive and keeps muttering strange catch-phrases to himself.

Hit Message(s):

• Your opponent attacks ... The executive pulls out a vial of powdered mojo, takes a pinch of it, and then proceeds to pummel you rapidly. He hits you for X damage.
• Your opponent attacks ... The executive strikes out with an awkward but effective karate chop. "Does that make you randy, baby?" he shouts. If by "randy" he means "hurt a lot" then yeah, it does. Otherwise, no, not so much. He hits you for X damage.
• Your opponent attacks ... He screams into the night air like a fireman going to a window that has no fire ... so then he sets you on fire. Ow! He hits you for X damage.

Critical Message(s):

• Critical Hit Message 1
• Critical Hit Message 2

Miss message(s):

• Your opponent attacks ... The executive whistles loudly. A miniature version of himself jumps out from behind some bushes, charges you, and begins to kick you with his little feet. You almost pull a muscle trying not to laugh, but otherwise it doesn't hurt much.
• Your opponent attacks ... The executive starts to attack, but gets caught up in dancing when a Queen song blasts from the boom-box he's carrying. By the time the song is over, he's forgotten what he was doing.
• Your opponent attacks ... He spends five minutes trying to explain how studio executives are like onions. It doesn't make much sense, but it doesn't hurt, either.

Fumble Message(s):

• Fumble Message 1
• Fumble Message 2

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 59-94 chips.

You gain 65 experience.

You got an item: polyester suit (%?)
You got an item: vial of powdered mojo (%?)

Location(s)

outskirts of Area 54