Mystical slouch of sorcerous mayhem
mystical slouch of sorcerous mayhem
Plural: mystical slouches of sorcerous mayhem
The slouch has a long history in military circles, evolving out of floppy felt hats from the 18th century. It's a soft hat where you can pin up one side of the brim so that you can easily march with a rifle over your shoulder. Neat, huh?
This particular slouch looks like the mutant hybrid of a stage magician's tophat and an Australian bush hat. Little quivers of power emanate from it. Perhaps it actually is such a hybrid. You feel a little silly wearing it and have a powerful urge to reach inside and see what you can pull out. I guess you've done stranger things.
The slouch currently appears to be full of mystical energy.
March 2011 Item of the Month
Helmet
Power: 40
Item cannot be auto-sold
Usable
Item cannot be worn in runs with a 'no pulls' restriction
+5 Ranged damage
How Obtained
- Was available for 10 silver stars during March 2011.
Have a mystical slouch of sorcerous mayhem (empty) in your inventory on rollover.
You reach into your hat and feel around for what might be inside. I wonder what you'll get?
- You got an item: chubby bunny
or - You got an item: ponderous dove
or - You got an item: razor dove
or - You got an item: crying dove
or - You got an item: super-cute bunny
or - You got an item: vorpal bunny
or - You got an item: endless handkerchief
It looks like there's one more item down at the bottom. You reach way in there ... and suddenly you get a wild hair that distracts you for ten minutes until you completely forget that you were trying to empty the slouch.
or
It looks like there's one more item down at the bottom. You reach way in there ... and pull out one last rabbit. It's tall, gangly, and pure white, and it tries to steal your cereal. When you stop it, it runs away in frustration.
or
It looks like there's one more item down at the bottom. You reach way in there ... and produce a large hare dressed in military uniform. He proceeds to march around your hideout, doing drills, until you open the door and he marches away.
or
It looks like there's one more item down at the bottom. You reach way in there ... what you find is the horrific, cursed were-rabbit. Wait, on closer inspection it's Welsh rarebit. You always get those two mixed up. You dispose of the rarebit in the most delicious fashion possible.
or
It looks like there's one more item down at the bottom. You reach way in there ... and find yourself holding on to the bumper of a small car from the '70s. Some kind of "Folksvagon," the decal says. It's too heavy to pull out, and you're not sure about alternate dimension vehicles, so you leave it where it is.
or
It looks like there's one more item down at the bottom. You reach way in there ... out climbs an older, bearded man wearing a small skullcap. He nods at you, says "Shalom," and departs.
or
It looks like there's one more item down at the bottom. You reach way in there ... and pull out a pink drummer bunny. It drums and drums and just won't stop drumming, so you put it back and call it a day.
or
It looks like there's one more item down at the bottom. You reach way in there ... out hops an albino bunny, which quickly hides in the most shadowy corner of the room. You never see the bunny again, but for weeks afterward you keep finding strange white vegetables mixed in with the normal ones in your fridge.
You got an item: mystical slouch of sorcerous mayhem (empty) 
Notes
- When bought: You hand the shopkeep 10 silver stars, and with hunched shoulders he hands over a somewhat mystical slouch.
References
- The drummer bunny is the Energizer Bunny.
