Alchemist

alchemist

You are fighting a alchemist.

In this day and age, it takes a certain sort of person to throw the reliable science of chemistry out the window in place of the unreliable mysticism of alchemy. Such a person as this unreliable woman, who wants to throw you out the same window that chemistry went out long ago.
Your opponent attacks ...

Hit messages:

She decides that if she can't turn lead into gold, she'll turn you into carbon. (fire) damage
She pushes you into a vat of liquid nitrogen that she was trying to turn into liquid platinum. (ice) damage
She throws a series liquids at you to see if you're soluble in them. It turns out that you are. (acid) damage

She hits you for X damage.

Critical hit message:

Your opponent has a critical hit! She hits you for X damage.

Miss messages:

She decides that if she can't turn lead into gold, she'll turn gold into lead. She consults her notes and starts writing a grant proposal.
She pushes you into a vat of liquid nitrogen, but it's already been transmuted into liquid ice cream.
She throws a series liquids at you to see if you're soluble in them. But since you're the problem, you're not part of the solution.

Fumble messages:

Your foe fumbles! She takes X damage.

Victory! You beat up your foe and win the combat!

You gain 169-282 chips.

You gain 225 experience.

You got an item: lion pill (19.6 ± 0.8%)
You got an item: low pill (19.6 ± 0.8%)
You got an item: golden powder (29.6 ± 0.9%)
You got an item: xentrium ingot (5.6 ± 0.5%)
You got an item: pulchritudinous panacea (22.4 ± 0.8%)