The Te of Crate Smashing
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You enter a large warehouse, lured by the sounds of splintering wood, keeping an eye out for trouble. You're surprised to find apparently legitimate activity--men disassembling already empty crates.
The foreman waves you over, saying "We're a recycling outfit. Bought the entire contents of this warehouse from a company that went belly-up. Problem is, disassembly is such a slow and painful process. Don't suppose you'd like to give it a go for a bit, eh?"
You level a cold stare at the man. "Why would I want to smash crates? Don't you think I've got better things to do?"
"Better things than to set a world record? We had a champion crate smasher in here a few weeks ago, smashed ninety-four crates in five minutes. Bet you can't can't touch ninety."
After a few more rounds of taunting you show that smart-aleck foreman and go to town on as many crates as you can find. With a smash-smash here and a smash-smash there, you really smash some crates. Sadly, none of them spit out any gold coins or stray magic items.
When the dust settles and the splinters fall out, the remains of one hundred and fifty-odd crates lie before you, broken and fit only for firewood.
The foreman and the entire rest of the wrecking crew applaud you heartily and say they've never seen better. It's so entertaining and cathartic that you don't really even get that upset half an hour later when you realize you were completely Tom Sawyered.
You gain 160-213 XP.
Location(s)
References
- Possibly refers to the bonus stages of the video game Street Fighter II, in which players smash barrels or drums.
- "With a smash-smash here and a smash-smash there" is a reference to the children's song "Old MacDonald Had a Farm".
- The final sentence refers to a chapter in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer in which Tom Sawyer tricks other children into whitewashing a fence for him.
